OK, if you hadn't guessed, I fancy Kiana. And although I didn't mention it, a few days before that last post, we got together, and I have been extremely happy since.
Sadly, she's back in California for the mean time, and I'm left with only her photo. But she'll be back in about a month. Anyway, for most who read this, that was all obvious.
As Stacy said to us, "[Of everyone, ]I think you two were the last to know about it.".
Well, since my post, I drove Carlos to the airport, and just like the last time I was with Carlos at an airport, a few days later I built a computer. Henny Ray arrived with my PC components and I spent a long time last night constructing it. I cleaned my whole acrylic case (I mean clean as in polished). I have set up Windows XP and moved all my old music and video and television and images over, as well as software. Tonight I'm going to install Doom 3 and Windows Vista.
But enough about me, let's talk about me.
And I signed up for Bulldog internet. I resigned, realising that Be internet would take too long. I can't wait until March. So I'll have internet, and I'll be able to Skype Kiana when we get it. Man, I can't wait.
Anyway, KK if you're reading, many kisses, speak soon.
The rest of you don't get kisses. Sorry.
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Wednesday 21 December 2005
Tuesday 13 December 2005
So Far
I knew it was a fantasy: an update every day or more often. And for a while, I was capable of that kind of frequency, but as of late I have not been able to maintain that kind of dedication. My brief times online are restricted to downloading as many albums and movies and various commodities in massive hoards while I wait for an internet connection in my house. And I have been waiting a while. It should have arrived by now, but it hasn't, and I'm still stuck waiting for it.
The last update I made was a picture of the Rootkit controversy personified. While the controversy has died down, it's still relevant. However, I did update it as an image to a higher resolution and made it landscape with a new office and new backdrop and a slightly edited EULA.
But that's not what's happened in my life.
I've had an extremely bizarre time since my last actual update. My life has changed completely. Paradigms have fallen and broken and changed so dramatically that I'm still convinced that it isn't real. What I expected of myself has been completely changed around and bounced out of the window and back. If these metaphors aren't making much sense, then you have no hope for the actual story, or at least the reasons behind it.
It's been over a month since an actual content based update, and that's ridiculous. Especially since it's been one of my more memorable months. I mean, that's how long I was in Japan for! Ages! But it's been almost six weeks, and so I'm going to fill you in on what I remember.
We had the Hallowe'en party, and everything changed through that. It was after the party that I summonned the courage to ask out the girl I liked, and after the party that I started to become good friends with Kiana. Both of those had a dramatic effect on my life. One more than the other.
After the last main entry, I went and asked out Laura, the cute Chinese girl I had liked for a while. What surprised me is that she said yes, but after she came back from Northern England, which would be in a week. For that time, I was very happy. I mean, finally happy that I liked someone and they liked me too. What helped is that my new friend Kiana gave me so much good advice and support throughout it. In childish foolishness, I told everyone I could. I tried to keep it hush hush, but I was so excited that I just didn't. That's what made it hurtful when it all fell through after she came back. Without going into any details, it was nobody's fault, it just couldn't happen, and that was sad.
Emma was very helpful throughout that, as was Kiana, as they both were very supportive and logical. But I still felt bad, but optimistic, as I usually do. I think I summed it up to Emma by saying, "It's ok, this time I got really close!".
Not being with Laura, I had more time to spend with my friends, and in that time I got to know Kiana better, I spent more time with Emma and 'the gang', and I spent time making posters for the Christmas party. Ultimately I'd hoped for a better poster than the one I ended up doing, but it wasn't too bad. I also started Role Playing with Carlos, Ross and Kiana, and soon Sam joined as well. That was quite fun, I revived the character of Anivers and made him just as self doubting but arrogant as ever.
Off topic, but my loan finally arrived. I finally had some cash to throw about, and I spent a lot of it on upgrading my computer. And this is a serious upgrade. In 5 days, it arrives from America: AMD Athlon 3800+ X2 Dual Core, Asus motherboard and a X1800XL 256MB graphics card to boot, as well as some accessories to make it swish. I'll be building it soon. I still don't have internet though. :(
I also went to my first Bop. It was pretty terrible, but the music got better towards the end, and I spoke with Xing for a bit too. People kept stealing my hat (the one I bought for Hallowe'en but loved too much to stop wearing). It was that night though, that started my main life changes. I stayed over at Kiana's place and the next two nights she stayed over at mine. The next night I had to work doing the scanning work for my mother, and the next day, everything changed.
I realised that not seeing Kiana that night, I had genuinely missed her a lot. That day I saw Qian, and she just wasn't as attractive as I had remembered. She looked the same, I just didn't find her as attractive. It was then I knew it: I no longer liked Asian women. I mean, they're still pretty, but I no longer had a serious thing for them. In none that I saw, I didn't see what I used to. The 'Yellow Fever', as some called it, had passed. After the JCS meeting that night, Sam and Kiana came round to my place and with Emma we all stayed up late chatting. It was then that I decided to announce it.
When Carlos found out about that, his immediate question was, "So now you like Californian girls?". He was right. I did. Since I started this blog, I have had a thing for Asian women, and as of Tuesday the 6th of November, that ended. I still have the desire to learn Japanese and live there in the future, so, as I insisted all along, the enjoyment of Asian culture was not fuelled by sex.
Anyway, I have to revise for exams now, but a big shout out to my main Snowman, Helgi! Thank you for the Icelandic chocolate. I'll update soon and continue my life changing story of the last six weeks. I'll tell you about the new computer as well.
The last update I made was a picture of the Rootkit controversy personified. While the controversy has died down, it's still relevant. However, I did update it as an image to a higher resolution and made it landscape with a new office and new backdrop and a slightly edited EULA.
But that's not what's happened in my life.
I've had an extremely bizarre time since my last actual update. My life has changed completely. Paradigms have fallen and broken and changed so dramatically that I'm still convinced that it isn't real. What I expected of myself has been completely changed around and bounced out of the window and back. If these metaphors aren't making much sense, then you have no hope for the actual story, or at least the reasons behind it.
It's been over a month since an actual content based update, and that's ridiculous. Especially since it's been one of my more memorable months. I mean, that's how long I was in Japan for! Ages! But it's been almost six weeks, and so I'm going to fill you in on what I remember.
We had the Hallowe'en party, and everything changed through that. It was after the party that I summonned the courage to ask out the girl I liked, and after the party that I started to become good friends with Kiana. Both of those had a dramatic effect on my life. One more than the other.
After the last main entry, I went and asked out Laura, the cute Chinese girl I had liked for a while. What surprised me is that she said yes, but after she came back from Northern England, which would be in a week. For that time, I was very happy. I mean, finally happy that I liked someone and they liked me too. What helped is that my new friend Kiana gave me so much good advice and support throughout it. In childish foolishness, I told everyone I could. I tried to keep it hush hush, but I was so excited that I just didn't. That's what made it hurtful when it all fell through after she came back. Without going into any details, it was nobody's fault, it just couldn't happen, and that was sad.
Emma was very helpful throughout that, as was Kiana, as they both were very supportive and logical. But I still felt bad, but optimistic, as I usually do. I think I summed it up to Emma by saying, "It's ok, this time I got really close!".
Not being with Laura, I had more time to spend with my friends, and in that time I got to know Kiana better, I spent more time with Emma and 'the gang', and I spent time making posters for the Christmas party. Ultimately I'd hoped for a better poster than the one I ended up doing, but it wasn't too bad. I also started Role Playing with Carlos, Ross and Kiana, and soon Sam joined as well. That was quite fun, I revived the character of Anivers and made him just as self doubting but arrogant as ever.
Off topic, but my loan finally arrived. I finally had some cash to throw about, and I spent a lot of it on upgrading my computer. And this is a serious upgrade. In 5 days, it arrives from America: AMD Athlon 3800+ X2 Dual Core, Asus motherboard and a X1800XL 256MB graphics card to boot, as well as some accessories to make it swish. I'll be building it soon. I still don't have internet though. :(
I also went to my first Bop. It was pretty terrible, but the music got better towards the end, and I spoke with Xing for a bit too. People kept stealing my hat (the one I bought for Hallowe'en but loved too much to stop wearing). It was that night though, that started my main life changes. I stayed over at Kiana's place and the next two nights she stayed over at mine. The next night I had to work doing the scanning work for my mother, and the next day, everything changed.
I realised that not seeing Kiana that night, I had genuinely missed her a lot. That day I saw Qian, and she just wasn't as attractive as I had remembered. She looked the same, I just didn't find her as attractive. It was then I knew it: I no longer liked Asian women. I mean, they're still pretty, but I no longer had a serious thing for them. In none that I saw, I didn't see what I used to. The 'Yellow Fever', as some called it, had passed. After the JCS meeting that night, Sam and Kiana came round to my place and with Emma we all stayed up late chatting. It was then that I decided to announce it.
When Carlos found out about that, his immediate question was, "So now you like Californian girls?". He was right. I did. Since I started this blog, I have had a thing for Asian women, and as of Tuesday the 6th of November, that ended. I still have the desire to learn Japanese and live there in the future, so, as I insisted all along, the enjoyment of Asian culture was not fuelled by sex.
Anyway, I have to revise for exams now, but a big shout out to my main Snowman, Helgi! Thank you for the Icelandic chocolate. I'll update soon and continue my life changing story of the last six weeks. I'll tell you about the new computer as well.
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