Internal Frustration Engine

So electric cars are the future. That's what people keep saying, and what the government keeps pushing for, and what every motorist with half a conscience believes, whether they like it or not.

I know electric cars are coming for good. Petroleum based transport is going to be reserved for underdeveloped countries for a few decades longer than everyone else, and within a century, will be for rich enthusiasts only, if at all. That's a shame, because the internal combustion engine is a wondrous piece of engineering and gives a wonderful, powerful output, which car design has revolved around for more than a hundred years.

But there are worse things that could replace the petrol car: the bus, bicycles, trains, roller-skates... all of those are less favourable than an electric car. In fact, electric cars are good. Very good. What they lack in manual transmission they make up for in maximum power from zero revs. But I'm going to miss changing gear, I'm going to miss it a lot.

But welcoming us into this overdue electronic age is something somewhat of a disappointment: the Tesla Roadster.

I was looking forward to it. On paper it looked good. Very fast, convertible, very cheap to run and based on a supremely good car (the Lotus Elise). There isn't anything not to like. Why is it a problem?

Well, when some people criticise the electric car, they criticise the range. On the Tesla Roadster, it is about 244 miles. And that is its problem: it is being designed to go for 244 miles on a single charge. A two-seater, roofless sports-car has enough batteries to take it for nearly 250 miles at a time. To me, that's a serious problem.

Battery technology has not solved the problem of efficiently storing charge. Keeping electricity available requires heavy batteries that weigh the car down enormously. And 250 miles of that charge is heavy. This causes the car to be sluggish and sloppy in corners, where the makes-lots-of-tiny-explosions-in-a-metal-block powered Exige has the vehicle whipped, because an engine simply weighs so much less.

So, in doing almost everything right with the Tesla, they made that mistake. They chose to load it with large, heavy batteries to take it long distances instead of being nimble. And how are you going to entice a true petrolhead if they have to spend a small fortune on a car too heavy to take corners well? Sure, it's quick in a straight line and can drive for hundreds of miles... but that's wrong for a Lotus: they've turned a Lotus into an American muscle car.

I love muscle cars in general, but it isn't what a small two-seater should be about. It shouldn't be about range or straight-line speed, it should be about 'Look! We have an electric car for you and it's better than the petrol version'.

Now, their reasoning for doing this is obvious: the American market. But in doing so, they're alienating a group very important to electronic adoption: the car enthusiast.

If the Tesla Roadster were lighter and had a 60 mile range, it would be the perfect track-day car. Car enthusiasts would go crazy for them, and their pursuit of the combustion engine would fade faster.

And it isn't just the Tesla Roadster either. The Tesla Model S has a 300 mile range. The Ecotricity 'Wind Power' car has a 150 mile range. Elektrikar, 200+ miles. Liberty Electric Car's e-Range Rover, 200 miles. Phoenix Motorcar's SUV, 250+ miles.

And when you think about it, for the urbanite, this range is ridiculous. On a daily basis, I drive less than 20 miles. The longest trip I go on is 53 miles each way. 250 miles at a time is completely unnecessary, and yet if I adopt one of these cars, I have to carry 250 miles worth of electric charge storage wherever I go. It's SUV syndrome: sell people stuff they don't need, even if they'll never use it.

But there's the problem. Average American consumers are scared of a short range, and car enthusiasts tend to hate unnecessary weight. But instead of compromising, the car manufacturer went, as usual, in favour of the American market.

But there is a solution.

Divide the battery into five separate cells, each removable and replaceable by the owner. Each cell powers the car for 50 miles. For everyday city use, and track-day use, the owner has one cell in his vehicle, giving him short range, but low weight and fantastic handling. The car goes from sluggish to nimble instantly. For carrying passengers and longer trips, add a few more cells. You don't need the handling, and you can use the range.

As well as greatly increased versatility and an appeal that stretches beyond the 'I only use my car for long distance driving' mentality, this will entice new buyers, as you can make having five battery packs an option. This will take the initial price down significantly, and mean that fewer batteries need to be manufactured and distributed. This decreases the abundance of corrosive chemicals and also increases efficiency further by carrying less weight in the car.

Having removable batteries also means that someone can charge a battery without the car being present. It also sets a precedent for swapping stations instead of charging stations.

Best of all, it makes cars more fun to drive. But until then, I'd rather have an £8000 Elise than an £80000 Roadster. And I can still change gears.

So... Watchmen

Usually it takes ages for a film to come out in England. Far too long. Marley & Me, a film that Alyssa and I ridiculed non-stop through December, is just being released here. Bolt, which she saw before I even arrived in Hawai'i, has just been released. With this in mind, and knowing I saw it last night, one might think that in America Watchmen was a contemporary film.

But in reality, it was released both sides of the Atlantic at roughly the same time, so while reviewing it now isn't exactly bleeding edge, I'm only behind most by a week or so.

And we got Taken, like, last year man, so there.

So I don't know if you heard: they made a film based on Watchmen. I say based on, because a direct adaptation (while desirable) would be impossible. There is just too much of the original source material. But we all knew that.

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer put it best: "an enjoyably esoteric Cliff's Notes version of the book", which I couldn't agree with more. It is just about accessible if you haven't read the book, but if you're a fan, it's very much love/hate. Well, like/hate, but in my case, I loved it.

I read it in December, which I feel was the perfect time. Here's why.

I sat there, in the IMAX Cinema in Wimbledon, smiling broadly at this realisation, a visual extravaganza that brings the illustrations off the page the way I had imagined them all holiday. Nothing was overdone, and the cheesy moments weren't too distracting. It was a balanced complement to the book, and every visual brought back memories of the book (which I had just started to forget), and overwhelmed my senses with the wonderful portrayal of the only comic book characters I have actually loved because of the comic.

I marvelled at seeing the characters whom I knew and loved from the book actually doing what I wanted to see them doing: fighting crime and being emo about it, like real people. The Dark Knight was one of my favourite films of last year, but while it had moral complexity and emotional battles, the sheer depth and complexity of Watchmen overshadows it.

It didn't keep everything I liked, but despite what Nic thought, it by no means ruined it. And despite the complex story being crammed into a mere two and a half hours, even those who hadn't read it, such as my sister, loved watching it. Others couldn't follow it, which I can understand. But a hardcore fan of a book can never really love the film as much, which is true of both me and Nic and Cattrina. But the degree to which our feelings differed was quite enormous.

During the Nite-Owl-and-Rorschach-in-the-bar-investigation scene, the projector (allegedly two projectors) managed to be so bright that I had to adjust my eyes to see the shadows, where the characters were. I don't know what it was shot on, but the range was incredible. That scene felt real, and whether that came across on non-IMAX screenings, I hope that directors in the future can make me feel that absorbed with just applied contrast ratios.

All in all, I don't want to gush, but I want to be clear that the movie is definitely worth seeing. Ignore the fanboys who rage with hatred, I can say that it is not a let down at all. In fact, it's like no superhero movie ever made. It makes even the Dark Knight look shallow by comparison, which is a tremendous feat.

And I have spoken to enough people who read it and enjoyed the film to say that I'm not being blinded by my own unrealistic expectations.

Also, see Taken. It's pretty good.

One Hundred and Forty Characters

I've been a member of Twitter for a long time. More than a year (that's almost a decade in internet years). It's only in the past month that it's become a more central point in my life. I mean, unlike most crazes, the internet has a habit of keeping the influential ones around. YouTube, Facebook, LOLcats (though less pervasive these days), they've all become an internet staple, years after inception. Luckily, some have died out as quickly as they were born, but that's probably a good thing. To see a video about this, click this link. Actually, don't.

But now I'm pretty active on Twitter. I'm following a decent number of people so that I'm not bored, and enough people are following me. So if you read this and you aren't on Twitter (and following me), then stop being such a techno-prude and get with the new. Ish.

My Flickr Account expired, which was pretty sad. I tried to upgrade, but PayPal just tried to take money from my old debit card and everything failed, and I can't upgrade again until those payments expired. That's just an apology for anyone who has tried to download the Original size of my pictures and found themselves unable.

I have set up a music page, with most of the stuff I have recorded over the last few years. Here is one of my favourites, and the image from XKCD that inspired it.

I'm about to go and pick up some food for a dinner party tomorrow, and before that I'm getting the tools to switch my CD Player (in my BMW) with the one from the Mercedes. That way I can keep my MP3 CDs and the dude buying my car (later today) saves £30.

Then I'm finally off to see Watchmen. It's taken nearly a week to see it, but the wait is over. I read the comic over Christmas (like so many others) for the sole purpose of hating the film. Now I can feel indignant with Nic and Cattrina.

I'll let you know how it goes. My sister loved it.