Yes, but Does it Have a Plot?

Man, where are the writers when you need them?

For some unknown reason, I watched one of the new episodes of American Gladiators. I used to love Gladiators when I was younger, it was my favourite show. Watching it now, well, it's not quite the same.

But I gave it a chance, and I watched a few minutes. In the women's final, the two competitors were stuck at the 'travelator'. It was tense. Then the camera went to a close up of one competitor's face, and the dramatic music started.

I was appalled.

As the music started, the tense, Hollywood-esque, something-dramatic-is-about-to-happen music, I knew instantly that she'd make it up the 'travelator' on that attempt. The show has some semblance to a sport, and therefore some spontaneity and excitement. By adding music that tells you what is about to happen, that element is removed. By knowing the immediate outcome, I had lost my incentive to watch the show, and I turned off the TV.

But it got me thinking about what I like in television. I've always been outspoken in my criticism of Big Brother. I don't think it's entertainment, I think it's manufactured gossip. It's something to plump out the pages of Closer magazine; for when the celebrities run out of cocaine.

But working-class trash TV can still be entertaining. Why do I dislike it so much? I think the reason is that it isn't written, and they are not documenting anything. It's under the this veil of a 'social experiment', but that title is usually used to justify people to behave badly with impunity, like pretending that you need money for vet bills or smashing a PS3 in front of people who aren't going to get one. It's a chance to be a jerk. Social experimentation should really be left to sociologists.

But my point is that I like things to be written, to have a script. I like it when there are people in control of the story, even if it isn't particularly well written. Reality television is wonderfully profitable because it writes itself and a series can make money from the mere cost of idea-inception and then production costs.

Ricky Gervais defends the dramatics of life, saying, "Life is drama. ... [y]ou walk down the street for half an hour, you'll have half an hour of drama.". While this is true, street drama is only so relevant. Scripting makes a show based on life relevant to the viewer according to the skill of the writer, but the only relevance Big Brother has is its ubiquity.

It's not to say I don't enjoy unscripted television. I watch a lot of police chase videos on TV and on the internet, it's not scripted, but it is documenting something (and someone writes the voice over). I also enjoy infotainment like Top Gear, somewhat scripted. But it resembles a documentary in its format.

It all comes to light when you look at a scripted television show about an unscripted television show. The drama, Dead Set, about a zombie apocalypse on the set of Big Brother, made me realise how much I valued writing. It is also the finest example of a zombie movie that I have ever seen. That is a controversial sentiment, but I believe it.

And that's the essence of what I'm saying. I hate reality TV to the extent that I delight in seeing it literally ripped limb from limb.

Come on writers, claim back prime time.

...

I have finally replaced my camera charger, which was misplaced during a paying shoot, where I photographed a magician. My photos have earned me more and more views on Flickr. Pictures of Cocoa garnered me 560 views in one day, and a place on the most-interesting-pictures-today list. That made me happy. But since losing the charger, Melanie has been rather sad and underpowered. But eBay rescued me. This means I can resume taking photographs at clubs.



The JCS is still in full swing, at least for now. We have a Pub Quiz tomorrow, and the questions should be fun and the prizes should be sweet. It's fun to hang out with everyone still.

I went to the Tokyo Diner with the JCS a few nights ago, and had the Tonkatsu Chicken I had before, and I still love it. I plan on making some (like I made at EmmaHouse) and giving it to my family. Hopefully they'll enjoy it.

I went to a taping of a new hypnosis themed TV quiz show, hosted by Danny Wallace (whom I adore from Are You Dave Gorman?). It's called Mesmerised, and while it won't be stellar (writing isn't up to standards), it should be fun, and you can see me a couple of times. It was also a chance to catch up with Kiana, who came with me.

I have managed to talk to Alyssa every day since I got back from Africa. Over webcam. It's very calming, even if we aren't saying anything. Sometimes we email over my phone. I left my phone at Cocoa's flat, I will get it back tomorrow.

I won't get into the discussion again about it, but I will include a picture by Banksy.

The Emperor's New Mac

Only the little boy was brave enough to say, "But it doesn't play games.".

I've never liked Macs. Anyone who knows me knows that. I've always had various reasons, too. I'm hardly a Windows fanboy, but I greatly prefer it to Mac. People never give me valid criticisms of Vista. They just write it off. I like it. It hasn't ever crashed on me, and I hardly see the issue with UAC. It does everything I need, and is vastly more expandable than any other proprietary software. The only thing I ever emulate on it is the SNES.

Part of the underlying hatred of Mac came from it's tendency to be closed. They make the hardware, they make the software, they sell the content. Everything begins and ends with Mac, and if you blindly trust Mr Jobs, that suited you very well.

And from the man who hates DRM, suddenly DRM built directly in the new Macbooks. Your legally purchased vidoes (in this case, Hellboy 2), now can only be played on approved display devices. A teacher found this out when he, plugged his Macbook into a projector at school to watch alone. Not only was this applicable to new films, but it applied itself to films and TV downloaded previously.

It's good to know that the money you spend on your content only buys it on certain monitors. But it's OK, Steve Jobs was overheard saying, '15" is more screen than anyone will ever need.'.

It fills me with despair that people will trust their whole digital world to one company. I won't trust the construction of my PC to one company. I hate how easily the public are swayed by looks. It's the only reason Apple and Fiat are still in business. But I'm sure that students and teenage girls alike will flood to move into the iHouse as soon as they see how pretty it is.

I turned on my PS3 and watched BBC iPlayer on it yesterday. It's not officially supported, it's something that a dude coded for fun, but the fact that it worked for me, using a 5 year old widescreen, a 6 month old console and an unaffiliated media conglomerate made me feel better than any aluminium case could.

I declare, right here, that I'm a PC. I'm a PC and I don't care how integrated your OS is, how smooth your interface is, or how overpriced your hardware is, I will take function over form for the rest of my days.