Thursday 27 November 2008

Yes, but Does it Have a Plot?

Man, where are the writers when you need them?

For some unknown reason, I watched one of the new episodes of American Gladiators. I used to love Gladiators when I was younger, it was my favourite show. Watching it now, well, it's not quite the same.

But I gave it a chance, and I watched a few minutes. In the women's final, the two competitors were stuck at the 'travelator'. It was tense. Then the camera went to a close up of one competitor's face, and the dramatic music started.

I was appalled.

As the music started, the tense, Hollywood-esque, something-dramatic-is-about-to-happen music, I knew instantly that she'd make it up the 'travelator' on that attempt. The show has some semblance to a sport, and therefore some spontaneity and excitement. By adding music that tells you what is about to happen, that element is removed. By knowing the immediate outcome, I had lost my incentive to watch the show, and I turned off the TV.

But it got me thinking about what I like in television. I've always been outspoken in my criticism of Big Brother. I don't think it's entertainment, I think it's manufactured gossip. It's something to plump out the pages of Closer magazine; for when the celebrities run out of cocaine.

But working-class trash TV can still be entertaining. Why do I dislike it so much? I think the reason is that it isn't written, and they are not documenting anything. It's under the this veil of a 'social experiment', but that title is usually used to justify people to behave badly with impunity, like pretending that you need money for vet bills or smashing a PS3 in front of people who aren't going to get one. It's a chance to be a jerk. Social experimentation should really be left to sociologists.

But my point is that I like things to be written, to have a script. I like it when there are people in control of the story, even if it isn't particularly well written. Reality television is wonderfully profitable because it writes itself and a series can make money from the mere cost of idea-inception and then production costs.

Ricky Gervais defends the dramatics of life, saying, "Life is drama. ... [y]ou walk down the street for half an hour, you'll have half an hour of drama.". While this is true, street drama is only so relevant. Scripting makes a show based on life relevant to the viewer according to the skill of the writer, but the only relevance Big Brother has is its ubiquity.

It's not to say I don't enjoy unscripted television. I watch a lot of police chase videos on TV and on the internet, it's not scripted, but it is documenting something (and someone writes the voice over). I also enjoy infotainment like Top Gear, somewhat scripted. But it resembles a documentary in its format.

It all comes to light when you look at a scripted television show about an unscripted television show. The drama, Dead Set, about a zombie apocalypse on the set of Big Brother, made me realise how much I valued writing. It is also the finest example of a zombie movie that I have ever seen. That is a controversial sentiment, but I believe it.

And that's the essence of what I'm saying. I hate reality TV to the extent that I delight in seeing it literally ripped limb from limb.

Come on writers, claim back prime time.

...

I have finally replaced my camera charger, which was misplaced during a paying shoot, where I photographed a magician. My photos have earned me more and more views on Flickr. Pictures of Cocoa garnered me 560 views in one day, and a place on the most-interesting-pictures-today list. That made me happy. But since losing the charger, Melanie has been rather sad and underpowered. But eBay rescued me. This means I can resume taking photographs at clubs.

Powerful Hands

The JCS is still in full swing, at least for now. We have a Pub Quiz tomorrow, and the questions should be fun and the prizes should be sweet. It's fun to hang out with everyone still.

I went to the Tokyo Diner with the JCS a few nights ago, and had the Tonkatsu Chicken I had before, and I still love it. I plan on making some (like I made at EmmaHouse) and giving it to my family. Hopefully they'll enjoy it.

I went to a taping of a new hypnosis themed TV quiz show, hosted by Danny Wallace (whom I adore from Are You Dave Gorman?). It's called Mesmerised, and while it won't be stellar (writing isn't up to standards), it should be fun, and you can see me a couple of times. It was also a chance to catch up with Kiana, who came with me.

I have managed to talk to Alyssa every day since I got back from Africa. Over webcam. It's very calming, even if we aren't saying anything. Sometimes we email over my phone. I left my phone at Cocoa's flat, I will get it back tomorrow.

I won't get into the discussion again about it, but I will include a picture by Banksy.

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