Well, one thing I can say is that Emma has an unwavering ability to make me smile. And vice versa it would seem. Yesterday we all travelled to Westminster as described, but we made jokes about the indecipherability of public announcements on trains, and how they often take the form of, "In the event of an emergency would mmvvvm .. mvvvmvmbr mmm mmmrrrv vrr vrrv brrrvvmmm mmmmbrrvbrr as quickly as possible.". That made us both smile and happy for a good while, so I appreciate her presence.
The pub which we visited was actually quite good. Rather than a cultural exchange, it was mainly just relaxed chats and slightly-too-loud music, but we all made good friends. The two main Japanese guys we met, I didn't quite catch their names, but they know who we're talking about when we say Katto or Shouty. It's what everyone seems to call them. But they were very cool people. We spent the night talking in various languages, and Emma and I managed to dance in the tiny space between sofas, which actually proved to be a good photo opportunity for random people staring at us.
Today we met up with Shouty and Katto again, because Shouty is going home tomorrow, and so we decided to meet and go and look at interesting architecture. When that proved far too expensive (St Paul's Cathedral), we just went to Chinatown for some food, and then to the V&A Museum, which proved more interesting than I imagined. All the time, I struggled to talk with Katto, because his English is about the same level as my Japanese, which meant conversing was possible, but on very limited subjects with a lot of physical descriptive acting. Shouty has good English, including the highly informal but oddly impressively cool, "Let's lunch.". He played me his band's CD, and I was actually impressed, they had a nice sound, and while not totally original, they are something I could easily listen to. They were impressed that I was reading Bleach, but I was surprised that they had not heard of Azumanga Daioh. It seems few Japanese people in practice know it, despite its popularity. We went to Nando's after a Starbucks, and had a meal (where Yuri popped up unexpectedly), before we saw the guys to the station. They are a good bunch, and we'll be meeting tomorrow before Shouty jets off home. We'll probably meet in Tokyo sometime.
Thinking about it, Emma must look like my girlfriend so much when we're together. Especially when dancing, as we're the only ones who dance. Ever. And the way we always sit together, and how she rests on me. I'm fine with it, but I understand anyone getting the wrong impression. Even if people know we're not together, they assume we will be. But I don't see that happening, because we're just not quite couple stuff. Just friends. But I do feel protective of her. I think because she's so small. I like small things, and I feel inclined to protect them. But she's the last thing in the world that really needs protection. She's tougher than the Sunday Times Cryptic.
The title of this post comes from the name of the pub we went to. It wasn't The Horse Inn, or The Old Horse, or even The Horse, it was just Horse. I found it slightly strange. Maybe that's their gimmick.
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Thursday, 16 June 2005
Tuesday, 14 June 2005
Normal Hours
I woke at 8:45 today with no problem. Something is wrong.
I just finished watching Hotaru No Haka (Grave of the Fireflies). Not happy, not happy. It is the first WWII film I have seen from a non-Western perspective, and while I have imagined and pictured suffering on both sides of conflict, it is difficult to watch, especially considering the Allies are the enemy in this film. Despite being animated, it was still highly graphic and powerful. I will probably see it again at some point without subtitles to test my understanding.
I have been trying to contact Dan for a few days now. Each time I manage to get through, he's either busy with Julia or will be. And now it says his number's not in use. I fear that being far from University may make him very distant from now on, especially considering he is cohabiting with non-students now. I'm trying to return his USB stick and see his new place, but I just can't get through. He's not on Skype or MSN either.
I drove Henny-Ray to the station this morning, seeing him off. I didn't get to have sushi with him sadly, but there will be next time. I did get an awe inspiring meal with friends though, and that was a fun evening. All you can eat ribs, and four men competing to have the most. Alan and I bowed out early on, having completed only two racks, but against all expectations, Carlos actually could only manage three, while Shun had four. Technically it was three and a half because he gave some away, but still, he won. I was highly impressed. Carlos blames chicken and cake earlier, but still, he's meant to be able to do things like that. Oh well. Someone had eight complete racks while we were there. He must have been starving.
I'm seeing Emma tonight, we're going to a Westminster pub to observe the Japanese speaking class, and seeing how it is. According to friends, many of these classes are merely perverted old men seeking Japanese wives, but some are decent and good places to learn. I felt accomplished with what I could understand of the movie today, and hopefully it won't be too difficult when I watch again. But watching AI in Japanese recently showed me that I could watch the film with dialogue from memory, but not actually understand the language.
Speaking of films, I saw Sin City. That is an incredible film. It's not quite for the faint at heart, it's more of a hyperviolent pulp fest, but I felt it was a brilliant movie all the same. I want to read the graphic novel now. But I think everyone does after seeing something as mind blowing as that.
Anyway, I have to work at this cuttings service now. Curse this, it's all OCR rubbish. Damned text recognition.
I just finished watching Hotaru No Haka (Grave of the Fireflies). Not happy, not happy. It is the first WWII film I have seen from a non-Western perspective, and while I have imagined and pictured suffering on both sides of conflict, it is difficult to watch, especially considering the Allies are the enemy in this film. Despite being animated, it was still highly graphic and powerful. I will probably see it again at some point without subtitles to test my understanding.
I have been trying to contact Dan for a few days now. Each time I manage to get through, he's either busy with Julia or will be. And now it says his number's not in use. I fear that being far from University may make him very distant from now on, especially considering he is cohabiting with non-students now. I'm trying to return his USB stick and see his new place, but I just can't get through. He's not on Skype or MSN either.
I drove Henny-Ray to the station this morning, seeing him off. I didn't get to have sushi with him sadly, but there will be next time. I did get an awe inspiring meal with friends though, and that was a fun evening. All you can eat ribs, and four men competing to have the most. Alan and I bowed out early on, having completed only two racks, but against all expectations, Carlos actually could only manage three, while Shun had four. Technically it was three and a half because he gave some away, but still, he won. I was highly impressed. Carlos blames chicken and cake earlier, but still, he's meant to be able to do things like that. Oh well. Someone had eight complete racks while we were there. He must have been starving.
I'm seeing Emma tonight, we're going to a Westminster pub to observe the Japanese speaking class, and seeing how it is. According to friends, many of these classes are merely perverted old men seeking Japanese wives, but some are decent and good places to learn. I felt accomplished with what I could understand of the movie today, and hopefully it won't be too difficult when I watch again. But watching AI in Japanese recently showed me that I could watch the film with dialogue from memory, but not actually understand the language.
Speaking of films, I saw Sin City. That is an incredible film. It's not quite for the faint at heart, it's more of a hyperviolent pulp fest, but I felt it was a brilliant movie all the same. I want to read the graphic novel now. But I think everyone does after seeing something as mind blowing as that.
Anyway, I have to work at this cuttings service now. Curse this, it's all OCR rubbish. Damned text recognition.
Overprotection
This is my second entry today. Wow, look at me go.
I just wanted to write what I thought about arriving home today. The Beatles were on the radio, and I wanted to hear to the end of the song, so after I parked, I shut down the engine, put my seat back and gazed through the window towards the night sky. I then rolled down the window, and looked at this particularly bright star. It could have been Sirius, I'm not sure. Anyway, once my window was fully rolled down, I realised there was no actual barrier between myself and this star. This struck me as strange, not because there wasn't a barrier, but as it felt different to have no barrier between myself and an interstellar object.
There was a direct line between myself and this star, with nothing in the way apart from an atmosphere of air and perhaps some space debris. Why was that weird?
I think this feeling comes from a modern society's need for encapsulation. I say modern, as this kind of direct line of sight was more and more common as we look back through the ages. Nowadays, it is rare enough to make me think twice. However, barriers, physical barriers, like windows and walls and roofs are so necessary that now I find we feel we are unprotected without them. Society requires security based protection from anything slightly remote, such as a harmless star. The fear of the unknown, the fear of the known yet unfamiliar, it requires the safety of one pane of glass to comfort us, to re-encapsulate and to perhaps place us back within protective arms.
At which point do we feel comfortable enough to stand without any barriers? It is possible, as it has been done by ancestors, but we are so shielded through life that even the lowering of a window to look at stars changes the way we feel.
Anyway, I just came back from a rib joint, but I'll go into that tomorrow. I just wanted to say that.
I just wanted to write what I thought about arriving home today. The Beatles were on the radio, and I wanted to hear to the end of the song, so after I parked, I shut down the engine, put my seat back and gazed through the window towards the night sky. I then rolled down the window, and looked at this particularly bright star. It could have been Sirius, I'm not sure. Anyway, once my window was fully rolled down, I realised there was no actual barrier between myself and this star. This struck me as strange, not because there wasn't a barrier, but as it felt different to have no barrier between myself and an interstellar object.
There was a direct line between myself and this star, with nothing in the way apart from an atmosphere of air and perhaps some space debris. Why was that weird?
I think this feeling comes from a modern society's need for encapsulation. I say modern, as this kind of direct line of sight was more and more common as we look back through the ages. Nowadays, it is rare enough to make me think twice. However, barriers, physical barriers, like windows and walls and roofs are so necessary that now I find we feel we are unprotected without them. Society requires security based protection from anything slightly remote, such as a harmless star. The fear of the unknown, the fear of the known yet unfamiliar, it requires the safety of one pane of glass to comfort us, to re-encapsulate and to perhaps place us back within protective arms.
At which point do we feel comfortable enough to stand without any barriers? It is possible, as it has been done by ancestors, but we are so shielded through life that even the lowering of a window to look at stars changes the way we feel.
Anyway, I just came back from a rib joint, but I'll go into that tomorrow. I just wanted to say that.
Monday, 13 June 2005
Life Improvement
While I didn't realise it at the time, the past month or two has been subconsciously focused on self improvement. This has taken the forms of several programmes, mainly the purging of vices that have plagued me during my first year at University. Some are life long problems. The most basic improvement is my posture. Have have always slouched in some way, and I have started to notice this in photographs, so I have been training myself away from this by altering the way I walk. My new posture of choice is Morpheus-meets-the-Merovingian arms behind the back style, keeping my back straight. Other ways are things like changing the things I eat, more learnéd reading, physical discipline through the adoption of a martial art... stuff like that.
So while I busy myself with these pursuits, I find they distract me from ill feelings, and help channel any frustration I may have. But they do not detract attention from any good feelings, so these pursuits are wholly positive.
I could consider this blog an improvement, but that remains to be seen. If I can keep it up, then yes, I will consider it an improvement. It requires discipline and dedication. I hope I can continue it as regularly as I have been the previous weeks.
I have moved back home. I said this a couple of days ago, but it's still a big change. I slept in my bed again, and I am still amazed by how comfy it is. That's what destroyed my sleeping hours: an uncomfy bed. Yesterday I was awake at 12PM, today it was 11AM. I'm going to bed earlier and waking earlier. Before you know it, I'll be normal.
Well...
Normal in one respect.
In all the jealousy inciting that Jenny and Yukina had conspired with me, I left out Carlos's stand up comedy. Jenny covers it well in her blog, so I'll leave you with my thoughts on it. While I laughed at all of the acts, only a few were funny, and only a couple were really funny. Others were plain... well... one had two jokes, one was bad and the other was non existent. Others were just rude to the front row and then everyone else. I helped out with the filming of the event, and I should be able to see it all again, because a few were worth repeating. Carlos was great. I read his script beforehand, and I was worried about it, but the delivery betrayed all my worries, all was well.
I'm still dealing with the let down from a few days ago. While every sad song hits me, I am treating it as an overall positive experience. While I have major regrets about it, I do not regret for a minute the total event, and I view it as a long term learning experience.
Yesterday was eventful. I was woken by a call from Qian asking if I was able to give her a lift to Hammersmith for the tube to Heathrowe. Her bags were roughly four tonnes each, and she had her friend's bags as well, so I couldn't bear the thought of them (Qian and Hue) struggling on the tube for hours trying to get to Terminal 4, so I offered them a lift there and they eventually accepted. Insisting on paying for far too much petrol, they filled up my tank before we left, and despite confusion over the exit on the M25, which has been in roadworks for about a year or so now, with no visible improvement and all the road signs being totally illegible, I made it there with two and a half hours to spare for their International check in. Back to China for a few months for her. I will miss her.
Driving home from Heathrowe, I had a while to think and enjoy some good music. I played The Colour and the Shape by the Foo Fighters, and during one of my favourite songs of all time, Everlong, I think I made a new record for myself. I generally consider doubling the speed limit as going fast. In the 20mph limit over the local bridge, it isn't much of an accomplishment, but travelling home yesterday in a 50mph zone, 104mph felt fast. To be honest, most people were going at 95mph there anyway, as the A3 from the M25 is a fast stretch of road. But it made the music sound better and the drive more enjoyable. While powerful ethereal music is the way forward, and cultural pleasures are preferable, I can still appreciate driving fast to classic rock. I also consider Dave Grohl to be a god, and a genius, which led me to believe that the purchase of the new album by the Foo Fighters is a worthwhile purchase, on reputation and the strength of the first single alone. Which is what I did today. But as of yesterday, my home journey was based around their older, but still brilliant album.
I then went to see Phoebe and Becky at Wetherspoons for an "Entertainer" reunion. It was so strange, as it has been around a year since I saw Becky and a year and a half since I saw Phoebe, and Kirsty showed up and it had been a year since I'd seen her as well. The only person who had really physically changed was Kirsty, who I had never, ever pictured with long hair. Well, it's shoulder length, but the last time I saw her it was almost shaved. That was a shock. Since I had left, Becky had stayed on a while longer, as she was only a Saturday temp, but Andy and pretty much everyone else had left a little after me. And from there, they had a completely new rotation of staff every few weeks it seemed. Every time I go in there it's new faces and new managers. Stocktake Dave (STD) is now manager, while the new Assistant Manager, a South African guy who I forget the name of, is now engaged to Kirsty. Early into the evening we received a call from Kristin, who while unable to make it, along with Andy, did have the intention of coming. I hadn't spoken to her since I drunkenly told her how I felt about her late one night. It seemed that that didn't matter anymore at this present moment as it was all forgotten. But we all had a really long chat with her via telephone, and by the end of the evening we arranged a big, big get together August 22nd, seeing as we are all free at that point.
While I enjoyed the evening hugely, the constant appearance of Becky's friends and the general attitude of people echoed the British culture that I am so keen to be permanently rid of.
Permanently is a strong word. Maybe temporarily, but I'm talking long term temporary.
Today Henny-Ray arrived here, which is a different take to usual as he's usually here when my parents are, so being alone with him is a new step, but it comes with growing up. He's going to take me out to dinner tonight, and I'm thinking sushi, but I already had some sushi today, so I'll have to think it through.
It has been a long entry, but hearing that some people enjoy my long posts is enough encouragement to keep them lengthy. I'm probably off to see Dan in his new house soon. And after dinner, probably Carlos and Jenny. I need to see Emma again though, just because it's been ages. And I want to sit in on a planning meeting with Mizuki and Carlos. Hopefully that will be productive. For now... I'm off to browse Bash.
So while I busy myself with these pursuits, I find they distract me from ill feelings, and help channel any frustration I may have. But they do not detract attention from any good feelings, so these pursuits are wholly positive.
I could consider this blog an improvement, but that remains to be seen. If I can keep it up, then yes, I will consider it an improvement. It requires discipline and dedication. I hope I can continue it as regularly as I have been the previous weeks.
I have moved back home. I said this a couple of days ago, but it's still a big change. I slept in my bed again, and I am still amazed by how comfy it is. That's what destroyed my sleeping hours: an uncomfy bed. Yesterday I was awake at 12PM, today it was 11AM. I'm going to bed earlier and waking earlier. Before you know it, I'll be normal.
Well...
Normal in one respect.
In all the jealousy inciting that Jenny and Yukina had conspired with me, I left out Carlos's stand up comedy. Jenny covers it well in her blog, so I'll leave you with my thoughts on it. While I laughed at all of the acts, only a few were funny, and only a couple were really funny. Others were plain... well... one had two jokes, one was bad and the other was non existent. Others were just rude to the front row and then everyone else. I helped out with the filming of the event, and I should be able to see it all again, because a few were worth repeating. Carlos was great. I read his script beforehand, and I was worried about it, but the delivery betrayed all my worries, all was well.
I'm still dealing with the let down from a few days ago. While every sad song hits me, I am treating it as an overall positive experience. While I have major regrets about it, I do not regret for a minute the total event, and I view it as a long term learning experience.
Yesterday was eventful. I was woken by a call from Qian asking if I was able to give her a lift to Hammersmith for the tube to Heathrowe. Her bags were roughly four tonnes each, and she had her friend's bags as well, so I couldn't bear the thought of them (Qian and Hue) struggling on the tube for hours trying to get to Terminal 4, so I offered them a lift there and they eventually accepted. Insisting on paying for far too much petrol, they filled up my tank before we left, and despite confusion over the exit on the M25, which has been in roadworks for about a year or so now, with no visible improvement and all the road signs being totally illegible, I made it there with two and a half hours to spare for their International check in. Back to China for a few months for her. I will miss her.
Driving home from Heathrowe, I had a while to think and enjoy some good music. I played The Colour and the Shape by the Foo Fighters, and during one of my favourite songs of all time, Everlong, I think I made a new record for myself. I generally consider doubling the speed limit as going fast. In the 20mph limit over the local bridge, it isn't much of an accomplishment, but travelling home yesterday in a 50mph zone, 104mph felt fast. To be honest, most people were going at 95mph there anyway, as the A3 from the M25 is a fast stretch of road. But it made the music sound better and the drive more enjoyable. While powerful ethereal music is the way forward, and cultural pleasures are preferable, I can still appreciate driving fast to classic rock. I also consider Dave Grohl to be a god, and a genius, which led me to believe that the purchase of the new album by the Foo Fighters is a worthwhile purchase, on reputation and the strength of the first single alone. Which is what I did today. But as of yesterday, my home journey was based around their older, but still brilliant album.
I then went to see Phoebe and Becky at Wetherspoons for an "Entertainer" reunion. It was so strange, as it has been around a year since I saw Becky and a year and a half since I saw Phoebe, and Kirsty showed up and it had been a year since I'd seen her as well. The only person who had really physically changed was Kirsty, who I had never, ever pictured with long hair. Well, it's shoulder length, but the last time I saw her it was almost shaved. That was a shock. Since I had left, Becky had stayed on a while longer, as she was only a Saturday temp, but Andy and pretty much everyone else had left a little after me. And from there, they had a completely new rotation of staff every few weeks it seemed. Every time I go in there it's new faces and new managers. Stocktake Dave (STD) is now manager, while the new Assistant Manager, a South African guy who I forget the name of, is now engaged to Kirsty. Early into the evening we received a call from Kristin, who while unable to make it, along with Andy, did have the intention of coming. I hadn't spoken to her since I drunkenly told her how I felt about her late one night. It seemed that that didn't matter anymore at this present moment as it was all forgotten. But we all had a really long chat with her via telephone, and by the end of the evening we arranged a big, big get together August 22nd, seeing as we are all free at that point.
While I enjoyed the evening hugely, the constant appearance of Becky's friends and the general attitude of people echoed the British culture that I am so keen to be permanently rid of.
Permanently is a strong word. Maybe temporarily, but I'm talking long term temporary.
Today Henny-Ray arrived here, which is a different take to usual as he's usually here when my parents are, so being alone with him is a new step, but it comes with growing up. He's going to take me out to dinner tonight, and I'm thinking sushi, but I already had some sushi today, so I'll have to think it through.
It has been a long entry, but hearing that some people enjoy my long posts is enough encouragement to keep them lengthy. I'm probably off to see Dan in his new house soon. And after dinner, probably Carlos and Jenny. I need to see Emma again though, just because it's been ages. And I want to sit in on a planning meeting with Mizuki and Carlos. Hopefully that will be productive. For now... I'm off to browse Bash.
Sunday, 12 June 2005
Long Day
Well, as I am writing this, I am just ending a three day spree with no real sleep. It sort of ended today, but from Thursday, 3PM, when I woke up, I did not sleep properly at all until today at 1PM when I collapsed for about 8 hours. That felt good. My hours officially do not exist anymore. I can sleep at any point and be fine. That's not right. Not right at all. Oh my God.
Perhaps I should explain my previous post in more detail. Carlos being tired and exhausted and close to death meant that me Jenny and Yukina had an evening to concoct a plan to make him regret leaving early. So we decided to all hint at some kind of sexual game that he missed out on, and continued to miss out on for days until he started to get very jealous. So we cracked and told him. It was a fun game. While it lasted.
I had to move out earlier today. I had to be out of my room by 10AM, which meant I was awake all night packing with Carlos and Jenny. Though they spent most of the night watching me pack. Slowly. Though we found a great way of winding Jenny up. If Carlos and I flirt, she gets weirded out. We are both straight, I'd like to emphasise that, but we can't help just making fun of her with it. When it is just the three of us, Carlos and I are so gay. Soooo gay. Oh my God. Which is all because it turns out that he has the most incredible gay voice ever, and since he has been using it every so often, Jenny and I have adopted his gay mannerisms. Oh my God.
I took the plunge with another aspect of my life, and it had the outcome I expected, which mad me sad, but for the reason that it was my own fault. I left it far too late for something I had wanted to do for a long time, and that was stupid of me, but I can deal with it. I'll be sad for a while, but I will deal with it.
I am at home now. My parents are in Greece so I have the house to myself, which means I am making it extremely messy. I'll probably have a small party as well. It's weird not living at Whitelands anymore, but I'll adjust soon. I move into my new house next month, and that should be unforgettable. A house of my own (shared). It's going to be different from halls. I don't know if I should be worried, but I really don't foresee any problems. I'll be fine.
I'm sorry for not updating for a while, being constantly awake and going to Asda for a McDonalds breakfast everyday means there is less computer time. And when I did use the computer at Southlands, I fell asleep to a page of bash.org. Don't get me wrong, I find the site very interesting, but I was too tired. I slept for just a few hours in that entire 3 days, I am quite amazed with myself. I don't know what day it is though, that has affected me.
Jenny is reading over my shoulder, so I'll finish up. She just giggled reading that last line. She says "Hi,". Continuing, she says, "To everyone," she pauses, "who reads it." I then spent a minute inserting correct speech-grammar. Anyway, thanks for checking for the updates, especially Slack, I know you love this blog. Big kisses! Oh my God.
Perhaps I should explain my previous post in more detail. Carlos being tired and exhausted and close to death meant that me Jenny and Yukina had an evening to concoct a plan to make him regret leaving early. So we decided to all hint at some kind of sexual game that he missed out on, and continued to miss out on for days until he started to get very jealous. So we cracked and told him. It was a fun game. While it lasted.
I had to move out earlier today. I had to be out of my room by 10AM, which meant I was awake all night packing with Carlos and Jenny. Though they spent most of the night watching me pack. Slowly. Though we found a great way of winding Jenny up. If Carlos and I flirt, she gets weirded out. We are both straight, I'd like to emphasise that, but we can't help just making fun of her with it. When it is just the three of us, Carlos and I are so gay. Soooo gay. Oh my God. Which is all because it turns out that he has the most incredible gay voice ever, and since he has been using it every so often, Jenny and I have adopted his gay mannerisms. Oh my God.
I took the plunge with another aspect of my life, and it had the outcome I expected, which mad me sad, but for the reason that it was my own fault. I left it far too late for something I had wanted to do for a long time, and that was stupid of me, but I can deal with it. I'll be sad for a while, but I will deal with it.
I am at home now. My parents are in Greece so I have the house to myself, which means I am making it extremely messy. I'll probably have a small party as well. It's weird not living at Whitelands anymore, but I'll adjust soon. I move into my new house next month, and that should be unforgettable. A house of my own (shared). It's going to be different from halls. I don't know if I should be worried, but I really don't foresee any problems. I'll be fine.
I'm sorry for not updating for a while, being constantly awake and going to Asda for a McDonalds breakfast everyday means there is less computer time. And when I did use the computer at Southlands, I fell asleep to a page of bash.org. Don't get me wrong, I find the site very interesting, but I was too tired. I slept for just a few hours in that entire 3 days, I am quite amazed with myself. I don't know what day it is though, that has affected me.
Jenny is reading over my shoulder, so I'll finish up. She just giggled reading that last line. She says "Hi,". Continuing, she says, "To everyone," she pauses, "who reads it." I then spent a minute inserting correct speech-grammar. Anyway, thanks for checking for the updates, especially Slack, I know you love this blog. Big kisses! Oh my God.
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