Blogging from the Apple Store

I have meant to blog for a while, but I have been really busy. But I like to write a blog post from every Apple Store I come across. Despite my aversion to the brand, I like the free internet.

And here I am, blogging from Waikiki, in Honolulu, Hawai'i.

I haven't mentioned my trip online because we had someone to surprise, and surprise them we did.

I'm staying with Alyssa here in Hawai'i until January 19th, and it's amazing here. It's not too hot, and the life is really good. I have been taking hundreds of photos and we've been doing lots of fun things. I'm having a great time. I'm writing this with my feet covered in sand, carrying my antique Minolta.

It is Christmas in two days, but I already have my present: a 430EX II flash for Melanie to enjoy. It has already started making my pictures look better, letting me take pictures with backlighting and it can angle to bounce off walls, which is wonderful. I'm looking forward to learning more about it.

Alyssa is playing with an iPhone, and not liking it. "I thought it would be easy."

I will blog again when I am back at Alyssa's house, as I have videos and pictures to share.

Yes, but Does it Have a Plot?

Man, where are the writers when you need them?

For some unknown reason, I watched one of the new episodes of American Gladiators. I used to love Gladiators when I was younger, it was my favourite show. Watching it now, well, it's not quite the same.

But I gave it a chance, and I watched a few minutes. In the women's final, the two competitors were stuck at the 'travelator'. It was tense. Then the camera went to a close up of one competitor's face, and the dramatic music started.

I was appalled.

As the music started, the tense, Hollywood-esque, something-dramatic-is-about-to-happen music, I knew instantly that she'd make it up the 'travelator' on that attempt. The show has some semblance to a sport, and therefore some spontaneity and excitement. By adding music that tells you what is about to happen, that element is removed. By knowing the immediate outcome, I had lost my incentive to watch the show, and I turned off the TV.

But it got me thinking about what I like in television. I've always been outspoken in my criticism of Big Brother. I don't think it's entertainment, I think it's manufactured gossip. It's something to plump out the pages of Closer magazine; for when the celebrities run out of cocaine.

But working-class trash TV can still be entertaining. Why do I dislike it so much? I think the reason is that it isn't written, and they are not documenting anything. It's under the this veil of a 'social experiment', but that title is usually used to justify people to behave badly with impunity, like pretending that you need money for vet bills or smashing a PS3 in front of people who aren't going to get one. It's a chance to be a jerk. Social experimentation should really be left to sociologists.

But my point is that I like things to be written, to have a script. I like it when there are people in control of the story, even if it isn't particularly well written. Reality television is wonderfully profitable because it writes itself and a series can make money from the mere cost of idea-inception and then production costs.

Ricky Gervais defends the dramatics of life, saying, "Life is drama. ... [y]ou walk down the street for half an hour, you'll have half an hour of drama.". While this is true, street drama is only so relevant. Scripting makes a show based on life relevant to the viewer according to the skill of the writer, but the only relevance Big Brother has is its ubiquity.

It's not to say I don't enjoy unscripted television. I watch a lot of police chase videos on TV and on the internet, it's not scripted, but it is documenting something (and someone writes the voice over). I also enjoy infotainment like Top Gear, somewhat scripted. But it resembles a documentary in its format.

It all comes to light when you look at a scripted television show about an unscripted television show. The drama, Dead Set, about a zombie apocalypse on the set of Big Brother, made me realise how much I valued writing. It is also the finest example of a zombie movie that I have ever seen. That is a controversial sentiment, but I believe it.

And that's the essence of what I'm saying. I hate reality TV to the extent that I delight in seeing it literally ripped limb from limb.

Come on writers, claim back prime time.

...

I have finally replaced my camera charger, which was misplaced during a paying shoot, where I photographed a magician. My photos have earned me more and more views on Flickr. Pictures of Cocoa garnered me 560 views in one day, and a place on the most-interesting-pictures-today list. That made me happy. But since losing the charger, Melanie has been rather sad and underpowered. But eBay rescued me. This means I can resume taking photographs at clubs.



The JCS is still in full swing, at least for now. We have a Pub Quiz tomorrow, and the questions should be fun and the prizes should be sweet. It's fun to hang out with everyone still.

I went to the Tokyo Diner with the JCS a few nights ago, and had the Tonkatsu Chicken I had before, and I still love it. I plan on making some (like I made at EmmaHouse) and giving it to my family. Hopefully they'll enjoy it.

I went to a taping of a new hypnosis themed TV quiz show, hosted by Danny Wallace (whom I adore from Are You Dave Gorman?). It's called Mesmerised, and while it won't be stellar (writing isn't up to standards), it should be fun, and you can see me a couple of times. It was also a chance to catch up with Kiana, who came with me.

I have managed to talk to Alyssa every day since I got back from Africa. Over webcam. It's very calming, even if we aren't saying anything. Sometimes we email over my phone. I left my phone at Cocoa's flat, I will get it back tomorrow.

I won't get into the discussion again about it, but I will include a picture by Banksy.

The Emperor's New Mac

Only the little boy was brave enough to say, "But it doesn't play games.".

I've never liked Macs. Anyone who knows me knows that. I've always had various reasons, too. I'm hardly a Windows fanboy, but I greatly prefer it to Mac. People never give me valid criticisms of Vista. They just write it off. I like it. It hasn't ever crashed on me, and I hardly see the issue with UAC. It does everything I need, and is vastly more expandable than any other proprietary software. The only thing I ever emulate on it is the SNES.

Part of the underlying hatred of Mac came from it's tendency to be closed. They make the hardware, they make the software, they sell the content. Everything begins and ends with Mac, and if you blindly trust Mr Jobs, that suited you very well.

And from the man who hates DRM, suddenly DRM built directly in the new Macbooks. Your legally purchased vidoes (in this case, Hellboy 2), now can only be played on approved display devices. A teacher found this out when he, plugged his Macbook into a projector at school to watch alone. Not only was this applicable to new films, but it applied itself to films and TV downloaded previously.

It's good to know that the money you spend on your content only buys it on certain monitors. But it's OK, Steve Jobs was overheard saying, '15" is more screen than anyone will ever need.'.

It fills me with despair that people will trust their whole digital world to one company. I won't trust the construction of my PC to one company. I hate how easily the public are swayed by looks. It's the only reason Apple and Fiat are still in business. But I'm sure that students and teenage girls alike will flood to move into the iHouse as soon as they see how pretty it is.

I turned on my PS3 and watched BBC iPlayer on it yesterday. It's not officially supported, it's something that a dude coded for fun, but the fact that it worked for me, using a 5 year old widescreen, a 6 month old console and an unaffiliated media conglomerate made me feel better than any aluminium case could.

I declare, right here, that I'm a PC. I'm a PC and I don't care how integrated your OS is, how smooth your interface is, or how overpriced your hardware is, I will take function over form for the rest of my days.

Franz Anton Mesmer

So, if you go to http://images.google.com/ and search for "Joey Hat", the first result is Alyssa, in a picture it took shortly before she left.



So Derren Brown is making another series, and once again, it's up to Roehampton University to supply him with countless suggestible students for him to mock and ridicule on an international stage.

Two days ago he offered a free show in exchange for willingness to appear on his new TV show. That is an extremely reasonable exchange, considering how life-changing his shows can be. And, like last time, it was a simple hypnosis show, where he hypnotised a decent portion of the students there, including my new friend Cattrina and Cocoa. Once again, I wasn't hypnotised, much to my dismay.

With girly names and forgetting 'seven' and hot chairs, he really impressed me when he made himself invisible. Cocoa remembered her name after a little while, so she was sent to the less-suggestible section of the crowd, but Cattrina was hypnotised throughout and retold her experience afterwards (despite being able to see him occasionally during the invisibility skit).

I tried to meet him after the show, but he was busy. However, Cocoa managed to get a photo with him.



I am quite jealous. But once again it has reignited my love of Mentalism. I was told that I'd be contacted for appearing in the show at a later date, despite not being one of the suggestible people.

Yesterday, I went ahead and bought the lens I've been lusting over for months. It's the EF 50mm f/1.8 II. Not only is it a wonderfully fast lens (I can use a shutter speed up to twelve times faster), but it's also an EF lens, means that it fits any modern Canon camera, not just the digital ones with smaller sensors. This means that the EOS 5 (that I got from eBay without a lens for £30) is finally more than a paperweight, and is a serious photo taking machine ("camera"). I also bought some ISO 50 black and white film. Although it was £4, and that angered me somewhat.

The JCS has finally started. Once again, I am at the helm and enjoying it, especially the stress of being totally responsible. I don't know why, but I love it when I'm in charge of something and I have to find a solution to a problem in a limited time. It's hugely stressful, but I get the most satisfaction from solving those issues. We had a big Wagamama trip last week (after Hare and Tortoise imposed a minimum spend on us), and now we are teaching Japanese (again) and Chinese (Mandarin) at the society, and showing films regularly, as per usual. It's great stuff.

So, after semi-failing at developing film last time (and wasting an unused film in the process), I tried developing a film that I knew was full (I'd finished it earlier that day). I developed it in the same way, using the same chemicals, being just as nervous, thinking that I was about to ruin my South Africa film photos. But as I pulled out the roll, not only did it work, but every shot was correctly exposed, as I expected and looked great. The only shot that failed was one that Taigh had snapped off accidentally while experimenting.



I made a digital shot with a similar lens from the same place. This shot of my father shows the difference in cropping and the dynamic range that you can get from film. This was one shot that really made me realise that film was still worth shooting. Although digital is a less likely to get dusty.

Film shooting also helped me make my first diptych, and first really cheesy cat picture.



And I always love to have my car in there. Lightroom allowed me to do some Split Toning too.



I have been planning a couple of articles that I could write for my blog, but I haven't had the dedication to write them yet, so keep your eyes open.

I'll be back to blog soon. I'll let you know how Akira goes on Thursday.

Portal: Prelude

Portal? Prelude! Portal prelude portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude. Portal: Prelude portal prelude portal prelude?

Portal prelude.

Portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude. Portal prelude. Portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude. Portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude. Portal prelude portal prelude. Portal prelude, "Portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude." "Portal prelude!".

Portal prelude portal prelude; portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude. Portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude.

1) Portal prelude.
2) Portal prelude.
3) Portal, prelude portal prelude.
4) Portal prelude.
5) "PORTAL!!" prelude.

Portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude, portal prelude portal prelude. Portal prelude (portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude) portal prelude portal prelude portal prelude.

President Mom

With some free time, I decided to go for some political hits using Photoshop. I'm aware that an image won't change the world, but it's fun and worthwhile, even if it's just a minor achievement.

Sarah Palin is a nightmare in every level. Another Fundamentalist Christian with no discernible experience and strong conservative views who is actually completely incapable.

It's odd how McCain was so vocal in his criticism of celebrity until he used it to to rescue his campaign.

Sarah Palin is popular for the same reason that Jade Goody is popular: someone people can identify with. They're ignoring the fact that that the common touch doesn't mean you can trust someone like that govern, just like the common touch doesn't mean you can trust them to not be racist.

Goody came crashing down, and the same will probably happen to Palin; I just pray that it's before the election.

The poor policies of abstinence, drilling, gun toting and book banning give me little hope for the future of America.

McCain and Palin reflect the same values and policies as the Bush administration, and you really have to be stretching yourself if you can actively say you want four more years of that.

A new wombination: Palin and McCain- Pain.

Matt Damon surprised me with his insight into the dangers of Palin in the White House, and said how the whole scenario is like a bad Disney movie. I liked the idea of that, and I thought I'd make a poster of it, since I've had some experience with movie posters as of late. I put it on Digg, and at time of writing, it was on six diggs. Dan said it could get over a thousand, but it has to get noticed first, so digg it if you can.

I made it using Flickr, images.google.com, 3DS Max Design 2009 and of course, Photoshop CS3.

Back on the Road

I don't know what it is about my car that can inspire such joy. Probably the handling. But occasionally, it can inspire misery that can rival the pleasure. Like when I let it overheat. It wasn't the car's fault, it was mine. But the ensuing repairs were a disaster for me. And getting it through this year's MOT. Financially, that was very similar.

But after a few months of being stored on the drive, the SORN is cancelled and I am MOTed, taxed, insured and full of fuel. I can finally drive again.

Not that I have anywhere to drive to.

The MOT is a test every car must pass to be allowed to drive on the road. It ensures the vehicle is safe. Older cars must have one every year. I gave the car to my mechanic expecting some modest repairs necessary to get it to pass the MOT. It had been declared SORN (Statutory Off-Road Notice) since I wasn't driving it and it was on private land. You're allowed to drive it only if on your way to an MOT. I gave it to him, and he had it tested and left it parked on the road, where it was promptly clamped.

To add to the troubles of having to pay to have it unclamped, the repairs necessary to pass its MOT came to a lot more than I was expecting. More than triple. But I paid those, and I jumped the government hoops to tax the car again, and finally, I can leave it on the street again, where all I fear is a drunkard scraping along the side of it.

On the positive side, it has new rear suspension and new rear tyres, as well as new brakes, which give its road handling a real boost. I had been driving my father's car for a while so I was used to six cylinders, so going back to four was a shame, but not all bad. I just need to keep the revs up a little more.

Paying for the tax has cleared out my temporary savings, so any dinners I have planned will have to be cancelled. Although last week, I did manage to put a little of my savings into buying film developing equipment. I'd been planning on joining a photography club where I could learn how to use a darkroom, but they all required a year-long membership, which I didn't want. So with advice from Alyssa and my father, I taught myself how to develop black and white film. I had an old Ilford canister lying around, probably from my school days, and I feared that I may have overexposed some of it. I used that as practice.

Making the downstairs toilet a temporary darkroom, I loaded the film by feel into my new developing tank, and when I finally had the courage to mix the chemicals without contaminating our cooking utensils, I developed the film. It came out completely clear (or as clear as film gets). That almost confirmed the overexposure I was fearing, or I messed up the developing somehow. Then I noticed a dark strip at the end, with what looked like half of one perfectly exposed picture. Then I realised that while I'd overexposed the end, the rest of the film was underexposed, and was in fact, unused film.

This had been removed from the camera many months ago, so it wasn't a huge shame to waste it, and was a perfect place to start my developing career. Now I have a half used film in my father's old Pentax that must be finished soon, and then I can actually get around to making some pictures.

There haven't been many pictures in this update. I haven't taken a recent photo of my car, but I can show you my darkroom setup:



Alright, cheap joke. Which I stole.

I just finished my first complete roll of film, which means that tonight I can try developing something that won't be blank, and they're pictures I took recently, which are relevant. South Africa, family gatherings, and pictures I even took today. I hope that'll be done tonight. The film's already out of the camera.

Spar-letta

I went on a skiing trip before I left Rokeby School, and it involved going to Italy and skiing for ten days or so. Sergio was my instructor, and my mother was one of the guides. Great time. When we arrived, it was 19°C, most of the snow was from a machine and there was plenty of painful ice. But the food was great.

The year before they went to Canada, where the snow was deep and perfect the whole time, but the food was bad. Consequently, the Italian trip was the one that people remembered as preferable.

Quality of food affects our impression of a country so much that it can be the main reason we like certain countries. I'm looking forward to the food of Japan more than most things. While I was in South Africa, the food was probably the best part of the whole trip. I distinctly remember being repeatedly impressed by the Mexican food Erin fed me in America.

Creme-Soda is a delicacy I had the benefit of being brought up on, and along side Fanta Grape and the African Iron Brew, it's one of the best drinks of Africa.

So I Saw Radiohead

Any serious music fan should have 'see Radiohead live' in their lists of things to do before they die. It's a shame I wasn't old enough for their triumphs at Glastonbury or at South Park, but I decided at some point I should achieve live-music nirvana.



By chance, a friend of a friend noticed that I liked Radiohead on my Facebook, and told me he had a spare ticket. And I decided not to pass up the opportunity. Radiohead have been my favourite band for a while, up there with Sigur Rós (who I genuinely liked before they were cool). And even though I don't enjoy live music as much as I once did, to see the In Rainbows tour would be a real highlight.

Back on the 24th of June, my ticket man, Ben, and I took a long tube ride and met up with his friend Elise at Mile End. We all walked to the massive outdoor venue: Victoria Park, where despite having my ticket, I wasn't allowed in. Why? Melanie, my camera. Apparently, there's a no-cameras rule, printed on the back of the ticket which I had received seconds prior.

Actually, this wasn't true. A no-cameras rule would mean that people aren't allowed to take in cameras. The rule was actually a no-decent-cameras rule, meaning that you can take in cameras as long as they don't look like a they could take nice looking photos. An SLR might endanger the band with its sharp focus or something. In all, it's just another battle in the war against photographers, good amateur photos and proper cameras.

Having been turned away, I fretted over what to do. I didn't drive there, I couldn't leave it in my car. No security office would take responsibility. I was stuck with my valuable camera not having a place to go. I decided it was getting in there, even if I had to smuggle it. Taking off all the accessories bar the strap, and hiding them all in my pockets, I wore the camera on one shoulder, behind me and under my coat. In the camera bag, I placed a mostly finished bottle of Sprite. When my bag was searched, they told me no bottles, so I graciously threw it away. Seeming like their job was complete, they ushered me through with no further searching. This all while I frantically hid my face from the guy who stopped me before, while trying not to look suspicious. But Melanie got in, and while I hid her for the first hour or so, I realised that no-one was paying any attention, and I took photos throughout.



The support act was Bat for Lashes, who was entertaining, but ultimately forgettable (unlike The Objects supporting Junior Senior, who were brilliant). She had funny makeup and a poncho, and a wide variety of instruments were at hand, but there was an ondes Martenot in the background, and that outshone anything they'd brought with them.

Now, I hadn't actually listened to In Rainbows until about a week before, and I'd listened three times. It hadn't grown on me as much as it has now, but I still really enjoyed hearing it. However, I was looking forward to the older songs more, as were a few people.



The crowd was huge, I heard estimates of twenty thousand, and there seemed to be a concentration of avid smokers gathered around us, as well as one idiot who had only come to hear Creep, and wanted to let everyone, including Thom Yorke, know this. It was mainly for this reason that I was thankful that they didn't play it.



They did, however, play Just, which was probably the highlight of the evening for me, alongside Idioteque. I enjoyed everything from Kid A, although I was disappointed when they played Let Down from OK Computer. It just isn't a great song.

I won't list the songs I enjoyed (anymore), but I'll tell you it was a stunning concert, and an unforgettable experience. My feet hurt by the end, but they do after any long stint of standing. I used my telephoto lens to het really close photos (helped by standing very close to the stage), and I'm very happy with the photos I took as a result.



Despite almost getting badly lost on the walk back to the tube station (we deviated from the crowd- mistake), it was a wonderful show, one that has partly restored my faith in live music. I'll see them again for the next album.

What the Hell is Call ID?

So it has been a while. I was in court for twelve weeks, and when you're not allowed to talk about what you do all day, you don't want it on record in case you do. Hence not many updates while at court. And oddly, not many updates since court ended in April. I am sorry about it, it's just been I've had a lot on, and a lot of it was time limited, and I couldn't do anything about that.

So two months ago, most of my friends went home. Or away. Alyssa and Lisa went back to Hawaii. Rachel went back to Maryland. Sarah went back to California. Dan went to France (subsequently California). I have some friends left, but not many. But them being gone isn't actually important, what is important is what we got up to while they were here.

And despite not actually being enrolled at University, it was probably the most fun semester I had there. I saw people every day, I had pain from smiling all the time. And while the sun was out, we had a couple of picnics on Southlands lawn. It was six months of happy memories.

I started dating Alyssa in early April, and that was pretty cool, as we tend to think the same about stuff and junk. I won't go into details about the relationship, but even though she's far away right now, we're still together and speak pretty much every day. It's the most special relationship I've ever had, and she makes me feel very lucky on a daily basis.

Man, so long has passed since the last update, I don't know where to begin. I'll talk about cars. My car is declared SORN (Statutory Off Road Notice) for the time being, meaning that if I drove it and a policeman saw me, it'd be seized, probably crushed, and I'd never see it again. And that's not a positive outcome for anyone. Not even the government. They have to pay to crush it. So I'm not driving so much. So until a little cash comes in and I can replace the front shock absorbers (they're a wearing part), there will be no BMW for me.

My father is considering getting a Toyota MR2. We both call it the Mister Two, but I hardly think we're alone in that respect. I think it's too similar to my mother's car, it doesn't vary enough. It's the same size, same layout, similar four-cylinder engine, similar suspension... he even wants it in the same colour. It'll be slightly squarer and more reliable. I'm convincing him to either got for an older MR2 (which had, I think, the turbo-charged 2.0 litre engine), or a Lotus Elise, which is the best example of the small, mid-engined roadster.



In the coming months, a lot will happen, hopefully. My former lecturer has offered me opportunities abroad, and I hope that they come to something, but if not, I hope to work at University for a short time. I may be coming into a little money quite soon, and that might help get me out of this hole I feel like I'm in.

The credit crunch has meant that people aren't hiring as much. Despite frantic searching, and a very, very close almost, I'm still jobless for the time being. Hence, no car. Or anything. I still hold out hope for a position that I almost got, but it isn't likely anytime soon.

Just as my friends were about to leave to go home, my grandfather died. This was at the beginning of June. While this was very sad, we has 98 years old, very tired, and ready. I accompanied my father and joined him in South Africa. This was an opportunity to go to the funeral, to visit my ill aunt Anne, and spend some quality time with my father. We had a wonderful holiday, and the funeral went very smoothly. I gave a reading from the Bible, and my father had written a wonderful eulogy. We stayed in Anne's house, and we enjoyed many Durban Curries together, and managed to spend a night at Hluhluwe Game Reserve, where I used my new telephoto lens to the best of my ability.



Just after I returned to England, I learnt that my uncle Arthur, Anne's husband, who had passed away back in 2004 or so, had a collection of classic Minoltas that were lying around including a set of lenses, and filters and a folding tripod. This was very suitable to entertain my love of photography and love of old equipment. It's encouraged me to get into film photography more, and I'm in the process of teaching myself how to develop my own photographs. Adobe Lightroom is wonderful software, but there's something about choking on chemicals and tripping over things in the dark that it just doesn't capture. I just need to order a battery so that the light meter works, and I'll have a beautiful working camera.

Just after getting those cameras, last week, my aunt herself passed away. It had been a long battle with cancer, but she was very comfortable throughout. My father is in South Africa now for the funeral, taking care of her final business. She died less than three months after her father, but I'm very thankful that he did not have to bury her. I'm very thankful that I got to spend time with her, and that she got to see the photos I took of her cat. As an academic and a widow of a priest, she had a beautiful, large funeral, and I'm sorry I could not go, but I my father represented the family there.

You might notice that on the left there is a Twitter update area. Twitter, if you didn't already know, is like micro-blogging. You update with 140 characters or fewer, and do it frequently. It updates your Facebook status as well. I used to do it more frequently, but there isn't a stable Vista client at the moment. I'll keep looking. Anyway, I have it auto-update to this site as well, so you can keep tabs on me even if you don't have my Twitter page.

Firefox just unexpectedly crashed, but Blogger has the good sense to automatically back up everything I write, so I didn't lose a character. I have a feeling that it may have been something to do with installing Adobe AIR, but I'll have to wait and see if it happens again.

I'm getting eager to update my blog interface, but I'm realising that there's a lot of effort to be put into GUIs if you want to keep up and be original. It's easy to copy a design, but I don't want to (come on, I'm not in University anymore). I'll have to consider what looks good and what is readable. I have had a plan for a couple of years, but it's very high contrast, and I'll have to make a mock-up before I go about designing it.

As I've missed so much, I'll probably go back and discuss things that happened in future blog posts, but this is enough for now. I have added a Photos link at the top, if anyone is interested.

Daysleeper

Court is out. Not for good, just for Easter. I get a few days off, so i can sleep late and stay out later. Not that staying out later really interests me now. Eater break means people go away, and most of my friends are either away or have been traveling, and are too tired for my usual four AM antics. So my late nights consist of tagging things on Flickr.

Part of me is aching for a more dramatic change. I'm getting tired of where I am, physically and emotionally, and want to move on. My circumstance mean that I have to wait for this, and my social life is going to dictate when that is. But that situation is hardly ideal. I'm aware that getting close to people who aren't here long is always difficult in the medium term, and I'm aware it'll affect me badly come this Summer, but for the most part I'm happy with the arrangement. What I am scared of is if I make this a habit over my lifetime, and whether I am willing to put the effort into keeping things away from temporaryism.

While I maintain contact with old friends, there's only one person I really feel like putting effort into seeing, and due to circumstances, that's pretty much impossible. And when I say that there's only one, I mean there's only one in my entire life. Despite my perceived closeness during the friendship, time has shown that there is only one person that affected me enough so that I think of her almost every day.

I also have the curse over confusion over what I want. I know it wouldn't be worth changing for someone, but it's always tempting. I find out how I feel in three days. Sorry of that seems vague. But all these insecurities and mixed emotions have made me irritable all day, and I really need a release. And there were too many cars around and it was too wet for me to get that on the roads. I did, however, own a Focus when he tried to race me.

Dan went to America again. I drove him to Gatwick. He might be going for good at some point, and I can't say I blame him. The quality of life available to me here is very high, but I am in need of a change, and locale is the thing I'd change first.



I have spent a few days listening to songs I used to listen to when I was much younger. The whole opportunity to recapture my youth through generic but identifiable punk rock is too tempting to miss. Certain songs have really begun to stick to ideas of people, even though we've never listened to them together. I haven't played my keyboard in a while, mainly because my laptop just isn't powerful enough to give me smooth notes. I need to fix my desktop.



Alyssa has been away in Europe for ages. She's missed out on so much drama and so many parties. I raced the the streets of London at vastly illegal speeds getting Holborn to take a friend to hospital. While hospital is never a fun experience, the drive there was very eventful. I managed Wimbledon to Holborn in about 18 minutes. And that was with some bum traffic lights.

I had a fun evening at Jacia's the other night. I don't go there often, but it's always a good time when I do. We intended to watch The Princess Bride (which I still haven't seen), but we were sidetracked by chatting until two in the morning. The next night, I met up with Dan Cant for the first time in a while. With some default passwords and some found USB drives, we managed to install a Guitar Hero clone on one of the PCs at the Wired Café on campus.



That passed some time before I collected Lisa and Tasha from central London. I feel like I've been driving into and through London so often. It was only a week and a bit ago that I drove Alyssa and her friends to Stanstead. When I got Lisa home, she made us food and we played Top Trumps and tried out my new tripod. It was a strange evening, but it was good to talk with people again.

But today, like most of the last week, has been rather eventless. Aside from driving Becky around, I didn't achieve much apart from downloading two episodes of Lost. I have been quite good in resisting watching them, but I don't know how long I can withstand the temptation.

I thought of a joke in court the other day. "My friend shot a coke machine. That was bang out-of-order.". I wouldn't have pegged this for a Friday night.

Oh Snap

Christmas used to be the hub of many expectations as a child. Since I rarely asked for things and was always surprised with whatever I was given (and pretty much always overjoyed). But as I grew older, like most, I became herder to shop for, and as my tastes grew more specific, it led to me being questioned on what I would like, and eventually I found myself asking for specific things. When your tastes and desires become so specific that anything else is likely to disappoint, you present problems for your potential gift buyers. Last Christmas, I only had one thing in mind, and unfortunately, it was far too expensive for me to ask for.

A Digital SLR camera is an expensive piece of kit, even if you settle for an entry level model. And I cannot stand settling for entry level (eg, my car, my phone, my computer). I don't mind old, but I do mind getting the basic model. So I set out trying to find a second hand mid range DSLR camera. Every time I found one on ebay it would sell for more than I was willing to pay, and I'd end up with only hopes but no photography. But after a couple of months of trying, I came across an underrated gem, and just over a week ago I become the owner of a Canon EOS 20D. It cost nearly £300, but that's a fraction of the price new, and you cannot tell it's second hand (apart from a touch of wear on the hot shoe).

I haven't had a camera since I was nine or so, and the closest I got was borrowing my father's old Pentax SLR. And learning to use that got me interested in photography, but I always held out to buy a really nice camera. And now I have. With that in mind, this blog will be far more illustrated than before.

To christen it, Rachel and I traveled to Wales to take some cool photos. Since court was adjourned for a Friday, we drove out to Carmarthen on a Friday morning, and checked into a hostel in the afternoon. We walked all around the local beach and saw the castle, observed a shipwreck, saw horses; and I quickly realised that I hadn't taken a scarf. Which, in Wales, is a mistake.



We ate at the hostel and chatted with the owner, and went to bed early in anticipation of the task of fostering love for my new hobby: I was going to voluntarily get up before sunrise to take photographs. And we woke at 6:00AM, and we drove out to the castle, and it was a good thing we did, because we both took some amazing photographs of the castle being hit by sun.



After tiring ourselves out, but refusing to sleep when we returned, we took a drive to Rhossili, and I aimed to recreate my family holiday at Worm's Head. The weather wasn't as sunny as the morning, but there was enough light to take some wonderful photographs of us both sitting on cliff edges and wobbling as we both were blown about by the wind above huge drops straight into the ocean. It was very scary, although not quite as scary as going into the attic. Worm's Head itself wasn't really accessible as planned, due to high tide lasting longer than we were told. We did have the opportunity to fly my kite on Rhossili beach though, and it hadn't been flown in a while.

We drove to Swansea for dinner, and admired the uniform yellow lamps that illuminated the ridges in the background. Going on dates with Rachel had long eliminated my vegetarianism, and Swansea offered me a mixed grill of tasty meats. While the drive there had been dotted with roaming sheep and cows, with twisty roads and not much traffic, the drive back was very peaceful, and we listened to Death Cab for Cutie. I did teach Rachel to change gear though, which was fun.

The owner of the hostel had a Ford Scorpio, which he was looking to sell. I was very tempted, especially as he was looking to buy a BMW 3-series. We drove home the next day, and made it back to continue watching the new series of Lost. My camera had pretended to be low on batteries, but it was just trying to scare me, it lasted a few hundred more pictures after the warning.

Julia and her new boyfriend Raven came to London for his birthday, and I was lucky enough to score a dinner date with them. Both of them and Rachel and I all went to eat at an Indian restaurant, and I was tempted enough to brave my first Chicken Vindaloo, which wasn't as painful as I was expecting. We all chatted about serious and trivial things, but Julia looked very happy.



It was wonderful to see her again, and something must be arranged before it gets too late again. She's always fun to laugh with and an endless outlet for my mundane and predictable problems.

Nighthawks, the club I set up to alleviate my boredom after work, has dwindled in numbers since the trial, and now mainly happens when nothing else happens, and only happens with three of us. Lisa and Alyssa and I are either playing guitar or swinging glow sticks or watching a film in the evenings, often all falling asleep on someone's tiny bed and being plagued by neck pains and stiff shoulders for days afterwards.

We attempted to go to the Bop last Friday, and with my suit and red tie, and the girls both going all out on costumes, it was due to be a memorable one. However, the organisers felt that tickets were precious, and we arrived too late to get any. We did, however, stand outside and dance all the same, before going back to swing glow sticks and listen to music and collapse.



It was a shame, but we had an excellent evening all the same.



The next day I was invited to celebrate Sarah Booker's birthday in London, and it was wonderful to catch up with old friends, and try out black and white photographs. There's also an all you can eat Chinese Buffet, where we filled ourselves. The sushi wasn't great, but there wasn't any extra charge for it, so that was a plus.

I had arranged a Lost party sleepover, but since most of my regular guests were away or ill, it was just me and the Hawaiians, and we watched 300 and slept on the floor. The point was that sleepovers are something you do when you're 12, and you stop doing them when you're older. And that's a shame, because they're a lot of fun, and as far as I can tell, it was really enjoyed all around.

After driving back to University, Lisa went to write and record her election speech, while Alyssa and I went to do photography homework in Richmond Park. It involved being cold, muddy and slippery, while having a huge amount of fun being angry at inconsistent focus, unreliable ducks and intriguing shapes in wood. It made me wish I did more photography.



Today involved me returning to court, followed by an old Computing Reunion. Natasha, Dan, Helgi, Kelly and Lynsey all appeared and made me wish I was back a couple of years. We had a fun time, and laughed while we made fools of ourselves in the Pub Quiz (our team name was 'The Blue Screens of Death'). We came fourth or fifth overall, not a great result, but it was fun despite that.

I have taken well over a thousand photographs since my camera arrived, and this blog will have more photos than before. I hope people appreciate this new direction. And maybe a long awaited redesign.

Drop-Out Phonebook

My vegetarianism came to its end in most spectacular style a couple of nights ago. I never thought that it would just be a tantalising menu that would break me, but that's what it was. Faced with the choice between a large variety of very underpriced, grilled delicacies, and fish again, I ended up with a half rack of ribs and two pieces of barbecue chicken. I chose to stop eating meat on the 14th of November, and it wasn't until last Tuesday that I fully gave that up (I made exceptions for Christmas and New Year).

For my dinner with Rachel, despite two main courses, a side and two cocktails, the meal cost less than £12, which was almost embarrassing, so we left a large tip, and then walked around London with new eyes for a while. Rachel hadn't seen Piccadilly Circus before, and she also wanted some more pictures of the Trafalgar fountains. I say new eyes because when walking around London with a tourist, you find yourself looking at everything differently, in relation to how it is represented and reproduced around the world, as opposed to the place where you were born and grew up. Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner.

I entered the RPM challenge again this year. Last year I wrote and recorded Seven Pages, and I was really happy with it. And it turns out people like it, and like my style of writing. This year, not an ounce of inspiration. Or even a place to write music. I mean, other music is going great. My third album (codenamed STW by NEW) is pretty much written and just needs recording and some vocalists. But that is ineligible for the RPM challenge because I wrote it outside of February.

But apart from this minor issue, 2008 is still going very well for me. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, and that's saying a lot because I'm happy a lot of the time. I'm never bored in the evenings (sometimes during the day but I don't mind daytime relaxing). I'm playing guitar a lot more now, and playing guitar with other people too. We might even have a comedic band going. Money also helps. I have money now, I'm finally not poor and I can afford to do things that are fun and not feel terrible for borrowing from other people.

I managed to buy Space Channel 5 (for PS2 instead of Dreamcast, but what can you do?), and I found ChuChu Rocket! for £2, which rules. I was hoping that Space Channel 5 would inspire me musically, but it's getting late in the day for that. I need to fix my computer too. I think there's a dinner at Alyssa's tonight, but I'm not totally sure, and I think there's chicken, which I am eating for the mean time, but I'm not happy about it. Meat is murder and all. And less healthy than vegetables, but so tasty. I need more fish again.

Turn Around

Two thousand and seven brought me a lot that I remember fondly, and some things I won't care to remember at all. I mentioned a couple of posts ago the joy of making friends, and the sadness of not getting a job that I'd be perfect for.

If the year two thousand and eight ends up as eventful and happy as the first two months have been, I will have very little to complain about next December.

WARNING: Familiar readers will know that I keep my blog clean and safe for those of all ages, but in this particular post there is language that could potentially offend. And opinions that could potentially offend, but you should be used to those.

At the end of last year, I was given a notice of Jury Duty. This happened to Emma not long before we moved out, and this was not ideal for her, due to her plans. However, I had no reason to object, apart from the grounds that I'd be working the equivalent of full time for no money. The courts pay out what you would have earned had you been at work. As someone unemployed, this wouldn't be much. In fact it would be nothing. I considered going on benefit, but apart from the obvious reasons, I feared that free money would remove my main motivation to get a job. My opinion of the benefit system not withstanding, I'd loath to be a part of it.

However, early in January, I became employed. Not only is the job very suitable for me, but it pays rather well. The hours could be considered antisocial, but it depends on what you call social. But I'll come back to that. I now work as a QA for SEGA Europe. Essentially, that's video game testing. That's pretty cool.

It I also am attempting to keep the JCS alive, and while that hasn't been successful the last couple of weeks, it is still happening. My job's hours go from early afternoon until ten thirty at night, and that doesn't help. But for the last two weeks, and for a few weeks more, I am on Jury Duty, which has relatively normal (in fact, better than normal) hours, and I can function like a normal person during them. Before I was required to be a member of a jury of peers, I created a club called Nighthawks, which started at eleven at night, and went on until most people were tired and left. This will most likely resume once I have finished my legal duty.

Nighthawks has meant I have more friends than before, and since I keep running out of friends because of challenging circumstances, making new ones is always fun. Except that these friends tend to be better than the ones I normally make, as I see them far more often. Every few days as opposed to once every few weeks. And not just by association, there is active will involved in meeting with them. And I can't really say that I'm unhappy with that. It's quite the opposite.

Most of my new friends are from America, coming for one semester. This calls into mind the issue of 'temporaryism', and the transient nature of most things I've done recently. But as well as this, it also helps me in my recent trend of dividing my personal history into easily manageable sections; each section identifiable by a key player, my best friend, an important event or just what I was doing at the time. Each stage could be as long as two years or as short as a couple of months, but these stages help me identify myself in what I remember. On top of helping with stages, sharing my quirks and fun with others makes every negative aspect of the year fade away.

I lost my grandfather two days ago. I should say step-grandfather, but that wasn't how I think about him. I hadn't seen him in a little over a year, not since my road trip to Ireland with Yunhae and Roan, and his death made me think a lot, as deaths within the family do. He was ninety years old, and died of a heart attack while driving to work on the farm. He was probably the toughest man I've ever known, he taught me how to use a screwdriver and most swear words I know. I would feel worse, but I know that since moving back to Ireland, he was happy, and he did what he loved. It was impossible to tell him what to do, and despite his rough demeanor, I had enormous respect for him and everything he achieved. So I can't feel too saddened by his death: I can't see him having any regrets, and I'm sure if he heard my crying he'd tell me to 'shut the hell up, Christ Almighty, that's no way for a young man to fuckin' act. For fuck's sake.'.

But despite this, and the negative results of a ninety two hour Skype phone call, life in this year has been overwhelmingly positive. For a few weeks, I had terrible aches in my cheeks because I was smiling too much. It's an awful affliction, I tell you that much. One thing I cannot seem to get over is that despite different stages, my life seems to repeat itself, in an almost perfect cycle. And that isn't a bad thing. I know that it will continue to repeat itself, maybe in an identical way, maybe not, but the outcome will be similar. But I wouldn't change that, as I try to live without any regrets, like my grandfather. And I think that since I got my confidence several years ago, I have lived like that. Aside from a couple of things, I am happy with every choice. And I would make them again as well.

Anyway, it would be foolish for me to make any predictions about the next few months, because every time I think I have my life figured out something radical happens and usually makes it better. And even if I'm shooting myself in the foot, I'm happy with limping for a bit.