Trick of the Mind

Now I know a few of you will probably of heard of this Derren Brown. He's a guy who uses psychology and mind games akin to the Jedi to do things with hypnosis and stuff. Anyway, he's just had a big TV show here and he does loads of stuff which is cool.

Anyway, he comes to my University about once a year, and does a free performance, and selects a few people from it to take on to his TV special later.

I just saw him perform, and the bastard...

I was really skeptical before, but after seeing him tonight...

We go in, sign a form, and then he sits us all down, and asks us to put out hands together and imagine them stuck together. He uses his voice and calms us and convinces us, and when we were asked to take them apart, some people couldn't. I could, so I wasn't affected, but my friend Dan, he couldn't and it wasn't until Derren clapped that all the hands came apart.

Those people who had had their hands mentally stuck together, he put them off to one side of the room and continued hypnotising them.

After this, which was weird, he made all those who had stuck together fall asleep by clicking his fingers, and then basically messed with their heads. While they were "asleep" he erased the number 7 from their heads. When they woke, they call counted 11 fingers, and all said there were either 6 or 8 dwarfs with Snow White. None of them could explain where they got an extra finger from. He made one guy think his name was Susan, and then at the end of it all, he erased their memories of it, so while it had taken 2 hours for us, they all though it had been five minutes and it had been cancelled. They would think this until they left the building.

I went up to Dan and asked him to count to 10, and he just went 1 2 3 4 5 6 8 9 10. I asked him to do it a couple more times, and then as soon as we'd left the building, I asked him again and he included 7. I was so amazed. I thought it was rubbish until tonight. I am so overstimulated, but still, this is the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life, or one of. I just wish it had happened to me. There was much more, but that's all the main stuff. So, so weird.

Anyway, that was today. Aside from mind tricks, I performed a rather enthralling speech about the Data Protection Act, and spent the rest of the day trying to wake up. I have to so something about these hours.

It was Emma's birthday yesterday, and with repeated forcing, I managed to make her celebrate eventually. We went out to that Vietnamese restaurant Dong Phuong, which I did again today, and then Krispy Kreme, which was less amusing than on Friday but just as tasty.

Bearing in mind that this is the second time I am writing this blog as Firefox crashed making me write it up again (apart from the Derren stuff which I pasted from my site), I think I'm doing well. I'm almost at the end of 24 Series 1 now, and it is the third time I'm seeing it, and it's just as good as the first two times, except maybe a little better. I want to see the second series again, because that was good too.

You'll have to forgive this blog, I'm still trying to get my head around seeing Dan hypnotised like that. So, so strange. Anyway, I best be off, I have to figure out how to hand in work that has been deleted from my N: drive at University, and yet still have it in before the deadline of 9 tomorrow. Oh well. Goodnight.

Resistance is Useless

It's been a few days since the update, I admit. But you know, it's not all that bad.

While I'm still in purgatory about my feelings about who I like and how much, as now it is changing back but I'm not sure for how long, all feelings have returned to normal concerning my family. As long as my aunt is ok, then all is well as far as I'm concerned.

Pretty much every day, I have met up with Emma and the gang. Today though, for the first time in absolutely ages, it was just Emma and me all day. And it was refreshing to be able to speak completely honestly to someone who accepts things at face value and responds as such. It's so good to have that kind of person to talk to; and she is also on a similar wavelength of thought, so the same things cross our minds. Speaking of which, it's her birthday today, and I still haven't thought of anything to get for her. She doesn't seem keen on celebrating, but I think we'll force some celebration out of her.

Well, I managed to get to sleep at midnight tonight, but I felt the need to come online and a post seemed necessary, so I apologise to my sleeping patterns, but you come second. I'm off again to sleep, but to the zero people reading this... yeah.

Finally... I can't decide who I like. I know I covered this at the beginning. There's either the girl I have liked for a long time and been good friends with for a long time who might like me a little but won't go out with me, or the girl I haven't known that long but I'm still friends with and probably doesn't like me at all but is more open to me.

Clearly a no brainer.

General Consideration

Today has been a day of very mixed feelings. Mostly bad. Some good.

I watched Total Recall last night, and it's a great film, but somehow it made me think about what I wanted for the future. Most surprising of all though, on seeing my parents today, the death of my uncle hardly came up, and when it did it was greeted cheerily. Apparently my aunt is taking it stoically, and that comforts me. I think my family is partially glad to be rid of him as well.

I'm also still plagued by this dream from several nights ago, concerning post Saddam Iraq and the Vietnamese girl in my class. Without going into it deeply, it played out slightly like a scene from Three Kings, but it didn't have the same vibe. Needless to say it terrified me, and made me fearful for what I value.

As well as this, a rather repulsive snuff video was played to me today. I will probably have nightmares about that as well.

Ultimately, I feel a paradigm shift in my emotions. Whether I class this as a passing fancy or a total change in my short/mid term goals, I'm not sure. As I am being unusually vague about this, I'll sum it up in a phrase. I think I'm beginning to like a different girl to the one I have been liking. While this doesn't mean much right now, it has the potential to ruin some good friendships and mess up some chances. So I'll have to consider it for a while.

Sudden

Sometime while or before I was writing that last post, my uncle suffered a heart attack and passed away.

I never knew one of my grandfathers, he died before I was born, and my great uncle died in the war. Aside from these two, there hasn't been a death in my family. This is the closest I have come to death. My uncle was a priest. He left no children. He was not a blood relation. I don't know how I feel about it yet. I don't know if I feel bad, or if I feel just sympathy for my aunt.

I can't feel bad for him, he is not suffering. I can only feel bad for my aunt, so if I'm grieving, I'm grieving for her loss. But it made me think about death and how we deal with it as a society. When someone dies, people grieve for them, but they are mourning the loss of the person, not the person who is gone. In this way, grief is selfish, as in it doesn't affect anyone but those who are deprived of the other's company. So am I feeling grief or sympathy? I think it has to be sympathy.

I feel awful saying this, but my uncle wasn't a man that buzzed happiness. I remember him as someone who made me cry when I was young by humiliating me at dinner because he had an etiquette niggle. That's how I'll remember him.

Aside from that, today has been very good. I am realising that I have some brilliant friends, and that makes me so happy. Today we had a semi-impromptu picnic on the Froebel lawn outside Emma's window, which had chocolate milk and ham sandwiches and pineapple galore. I saw Megumi again, which hadn't happened for ages. I think not since the New Year party. But that was good. And then we all watched Gokusen series 2 and went for a meal. It was a worthwhile Bank Holiday.

I'm going to go home for a while tomorrow. I need to see my parents and call my aunt.

Must Not Give Up

I must not give up on this blog. Never.

This is one of those things I will do and see through. Not like my last blog, no sir.

Anyway, it's been a few days since my last entry. It's been my birthday week, and it's gone fantastically. Tuesday, dinner. I'm sure I told you that. Wednesday, dinner. I told you that too. Friday, party. Now, when I say party, I'm sure it conjures up these images in your mind of loud music, dancing drunkenly and throwing up everywhere. Well, I don't think any of that went on. It was more akin to a childrens' party than any one a normal student goes to. We had Rice Crispy cakes, Coke, Lemonade, Doritos and dip, Twiglets and all sorts of fun snacks, and no alcohol (unless you went to the bar), and had a party based around conversation and laughter.

I hadn't been to a party as fun as that since New Year's Eve. Apart from maybe Carlos's Birthday, but I missed most of it due to a lecture. Anyway, I spoke to Weiwei and Lin again, which I'd wanted to do for ages, and I also had a nice long chat with Kiwako, which I also enjoy. Oh! My living arrangements for Japan should be sorted as well.

Essentially, I had planned to live with my good friend Shun, but he isn't actually going back at the same time as me, which is July/August, so I either had to find someone else to live with or pay for a hotel. I could have gone with his suggestion of "having a different girl each night" and live like that, but for one, I'm not really like that, and two, suitcases aren't extremely romantic for one night stands. Anyway, Kiwako and Yoko and Mizuki and Emma have offered me stay places, so I should be ok.

Off on a tangent once more it seems. Anyway, that was the party: a success. People brought a wonderful variety of presents, and I have a whole shelf of cards, and best of all, I spent a nice evening surrounded by pretty girls and talking to friends. I also met this guy called Henry, with bleach blonde hair, that invited me into either his or his friend's room, I forget exactly. But, going in there, I see pretty much what I would have decorated my room to be had I moved to Southlands. Computer, guitars all over the room, Radiohead stuff everywhere, Bill Hicks stuff littering the place, and it freaked me out. It was all the things I liked and them all funneled into someone else's room. But he was cool, so I didn't slaughter him for it.

God, I'm not missing an update ever again.

I saw 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' last night. I have seen some of the series and read some of the book, and I thought it was faithful to what I knew. I also thought it was an amazing film, and worthy of a few awards. I saw it with Emma and Theo, and despite being late and not getting to sit with them, I still enjoyed it.

And today, 'Being Victor Borge' was a stand up/tribute show taking work from victor Borge and using it to remember him. It was very funny. The audience didn't warm to him as I thought they should have, but he was very good. And I watched the dynamics of a double act. I think my act with Dan has to get more physical. But I got some good ideas. As it turns out, my grandfather was a stand up comedian during the war. So I can now steal routines and say it's in my blood.

Well, for tomorrow, I plan a picnic with Emma and Kaori, and maybe Mizuki, but it depends on the weather. Should be good. Damnit, I'm not missing out on any more entries. Despite distractions, I managed to complete this entry in about 2 hours. Damn. Anything I miss?

Oh, my girlfriend saw my room with all the pictures of Qian around, so she wasn't happy. I think that's our relationship over for a while again. But seriously, I don't mind. Things are going to well and I'm too happy to really care about her anymore. My party was a blast, my weekend is full of fun things with my friends and family, and everything's getting better for me. Now i just need to sleep. Goodnight.