Today has been a day of very mixed feelings. Mostly bad. Some good.
I watched Total Recall last night, and it's a great film, but somehow it made me think about what I wanted for the future. Most surprising of all though, on seeing my parents today, the death of my uncle hardly came up, and when it did it was greeted cheerily. Apparently my aunt is taking it stoically, and that comforts me. I think my family is partially glad to be rid of him as well.
I'm also still plagued by this dream from several nights ago, concerning post Saddam Iraq and the Vietnamese girl in my class. Without going into it deeply, it played out slightly like a scene from Three Kings, but it didn't have the same vibe. Needless to say it terrified me, and made me fearful for what I value.
As well as this, a rather repulsive snuff video was played to me today. I will probably have nightmares about that as well.
Ultimately, I feel a paradigm shift in my emotions. Whether I class this as a passing fancy or a total change in my short/mid term goals, I'm not sure. As I am being unusually vague about this, I'll sum it up in a phrase. I think I'm beginning to like a different girl to the one I have been liking. While this doesn't mean much right now, it has the potential to ruin some good friendships and mess up some chances. So I'll have to consider it for a while.
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