Exams

Okay, I had one exam a few hours ago, I have another in 45 minutes. Turns out this isn't multiple choice. I have more practical knowledge than any of these people taking the course, yet everyone else has memorised acronyms and protocol hierarchies, so they're going to get higher marks. It's the old useless knowledge over actual knowledge that bothered me when I was young. It wasn't that way with the other exams like in Technical Support or Programming. Well, it looks like I will have to resit this course, because as they are not multiple choice, like I was expecting, it will be essay questions on the OSI 7 Layer Model and things like that. Anyway, that's how the Fundamentals of Data Management exam was, I was disappointed with that, but my second coursework was ok, so I shouldn't have to resit it, I don't think.

Man, I'm glad none of this counts to the degree. I think I may wow them with my English skills with the fact that I can string a whole sentence together.

I'm giving Julia a lift transporting her stuff with Dan later, hopefully she'll hate me less.

And oooh, oooh! I got a second interview at Waitrose! This Friday at 11:30. So far my interview:success ration has been 100%, so if my ratio holds I'll be fine. But I may choose to work at the Sushi place instead because the atmosphere is nicer, it seems less bureaucratic and cold.

Well, time to go to the exam. Thanks, Blog, you wasted the last 10 minutes of revising time.

Not the right thing to do

Yes. It is currently 2:30 in the morning and I am at Southlands College, supposedly revising. Though I am actually looking at blogs and writing my own brief entry. It's wrong, I know. Technically, it's not really revision. 'Revising' implies that you have already learnt the work once and are looking at it again. I'm calling this 'vising', since it is the first time I have seen most of this. Good, no?

Dan's already copped out from revision, having spent twenty minutes on a flight simulator, an hour on Neowin.net, twenty two minutes reading a gaming manifesto, some time on bash.org and zero minutes on revision, he realised he was tired and left.

Anyway, I'm getting back to work now. Hahahaha. Yeah, I am. Seriously.

Before I go... I set my DWeb icon and signature to be more in theme with this page, but I think that banner's too big for lower resolution PCs, I need to find a common factor of 700 and 123 so I can reduce it. Curse myself for keeping the original dimensions! Curse!

Now back to work.

The Gathering

Ironically, I gathered people to my kitchen for Derren Brown's television special, The Gathering. And I loved it. Yes, I had already seen it, and yes, I knew the act already, but it was really amazing to see it again, and spot myself on TV. I only really saw myself once properly. Being in black meant that I blended into the crowd,as opposed to the bright pink of Jonathan Ross. But I loved seeing it again, it was very special. It's a shame they didn't any of our interview footage or my semi hysterical state of shock at seeing the secret location for the first time. Nor did they show me meeting Simon Pegg. But I don't think it was really an important moment.

Anyway, I'm happy with that. I wasn't quite the star, but I was in there, and it was great.

It's now been 48 hours since the party, but it's still fresh in my mind. I received a text from Yukina apologising for her actions, but I didn't think she did anything that needed an apology. I want to get a photo of how she left my toilet though, just for the sake of a reminder. If you're reading, seriously, there's nothing you have to apologise for. Not to me, anyway. Carlos... I think Carlos is pretty offended.

Anyway, I have been content for a while. I feel just generally content. I have to decide on what to do for tomorrow's bank holiday. Maybe I'll revise. Who knows?

I think I'll sleep soon again. While it's mainly me lying in bed trying to sleep if I sleep before 7AM, it's still effort, and that's worth something, I know it. It must be. I also just saw the last episode of Azumanga Daioh today. It's so sad to see it all end. It was a brilliant series and it also means that I have seen all the TV that Carlos has lent me, meaning I am out of anime. Well, it was a powerful lesson on life and change, even if it was just a kids' show about girls in school, but it made me think about school, and how it was for me. Who would have though that it could be so true to life? I will miss that show. Of course, I will watch it again a few times, I'm sure.

Anyway, I know Yukina thinks I write too much as it is, so I'll leave it there for today. Sleep safe people.

Edit: Oooh, thought I'd add this as an afterthought.

Cloud 9

I don't know how long it's been since I've felt this happy, but it has been a while. I guess this is the end of the year, and the end of my trial period at University, and it has come full circle. Some things are resolving themselves, some things are untangling. I spent today floating in happiness, just feeling good about everything, at the same time fending off people in their desperate attempts to throw me off but I am too happy to let people try and destroy this. It has stuck in my mind what Carlos said this morning before I went to bed, "You must never feel guilty about being happy."

And he's completely right. Now I think that's an absolute global statement. And it's going to let me rant about human nature for a few lines.

I discovered for myself very early in life that every single action taken by human beings is for self benefit. I know that's going to rattle some cages, but I think that it is fundamentally true, even in the cases of seeming total selflessness. But how? you cry, from cyberspace, and amazingly, I hear you. Well, it's because of someone's sense of moral duty, and that's purely subjective from person to person. In an extreme case of a soldier giving his life by jumping on a grenade, that is still not selfless because of his combined sense of duty and morality making him feel better by dying than by living having betrayed his friends and letting them die. It's a difficult idea, but it's one that I think can explain everything. Depending on the moral sense of a person, that defines how selfless they are, because their selflessness leads to their happiness, and I think humans are driven by happiness. Or at least the presumed pursuit of happiness.

Anyway, not that's it's particularly relevant, but it's just a little basing for what I'm about to say on what Carlos said.

Feeling guilty for being happy is not something that is natural, it's not the way someone should feel, nor is it how I want to ever feel. I am happy, and I should relish that, I should cherish it, because happiness is the most important thing about life. When someone dies, they reflect on whether they were happy, and not what they achieved. Someone could have built an empire from scratch, but if he was an unhappy man, what good does it do?

It's like the Johnny Cash song, A Satisfied Mind. Money doesn't buy happiness. It can make you happy, but the richest people are those who can be happy for nothing.

And today, I have felt so rich. I have been in heaven. I have just had the best feeling, and I would never sacrifice it, I will not feel guilty about it. I am now going to collapse asleep, because being happy takes it out of you.

Enough Coursework

I planned on making an entry last night but I was busy writing 3200 words in a few hours. And I managed it, and it was good, and best of all, I handed it in on time, which makes three assignments in a row in on time successfully.

On detail I forgot to mention in the last post... when I went to see Revenge of the Sith, Jenny had been waiting to see it for a while. Too long, in fact, and she was very eager to see it. While Sky TV showed an advertisement to preview it, it was an ad for 24, and after it showed Jack for a minute or two, it said, "Sky: What do you want to watch?". Now, her timing was perfect, because as it said that, Jenny shouted out impatiently, "STAR WARS!". Louder than she thought. It was perfection.

Anyway, I managed to do my work, and I managed to see Emma and Kaori today. We went into the field and found Jesus. We also got a photo, which I will frame because it's awesome. And while we practiced cartwheels and hand stands, I managed to hurt my wrist, enough that it's making typing this a little painful and catching falling girls very painful. The reason I say that is that everyone came to my kitchen, and aside from Emma and Kaori and me, everyone was very drunk. It certainly led me to see new sides of people I thought I knew. But despite being questioned about it repeatedly, I love being around people, whether they are drunk or not, while I am sober. It doesn't bother me, it makes me feel content.

All in all I enjoyed this evening very much. It is very late right now, and I'm actually exceeding yesterday's bedtime, which is very bad, but I am happy. Very happy. I enjoy how I can feel drunk without any alcohol, it's great.

Anyway, if we're meant to find Jesus, he shouldn't be hiding in the first place.

I'll leave you with that. Not long until Derren Brown. I think it is just over 38 hours. Cool.

Slide

Haha, it's emo time.

My exhaust pipe finally gave up on me and fell on the A3. Apart from the trailing sparks, it was ok, but I cut myself getting it off. Now my car just sounds really, really old. Or like a modern race car. I'm going to call it the Thundermobile.

This was on the return from watching Revenge of the Sith, which was by far my favourite Star Wars film. I mean, I don't know how much I can appreciate the early ones, because I saw them so long ago, but I really enjoyed the acting in this one compared to the second one, and it had a logical and enjoyable conclusion.

But after that, talking to Xing, I found out some news that really depressed me. One of the girls I really like, who I thought I might get with some time, is just a slut, in no uncertain terms. She slept with a guy having just met him, and even though they are dating, it's not something I ever pictured her doing, I now know she has done so frequently, and is not the kind of girl I usually like. And while I cannot judge others' motives for anything, I feel angry at how I invested so much thought into her, and imagined her to be so different to how she is. And I feel sad that she cheapened herself like that, and also upset that the guy is someone who I'm acquainted with, and who I like. I just pictured it so differently.

It's lucky the girl I chose over her is so much more than that. But it still upsets me. I genuinely liked her.

And I still haven't found Julia's ring. I used a metal detector for hours to no avail. I must continue looking though.

Whoops

Ooops being the title of my last post, it didn't really cover what happened the rest of the day.

Meeting up with Dan and Julia and hanging out with them for a while, I started playing with Julia's ring which she'd left on the bed. She got a phone call for an interview, and while she spoke facing the window, I got the genius idea of bouncing the ring off her back from where I sat behind her. As I threw it, she bent down to write something, so it bounced off her back, and out the window. Now, they are on the ground floor, and there's only a bush below the window, but I searched for hours for that thing, and I just couldn't see it. I have hope for when I get my metal detector tomorrow. I really, really, really hope I can get it. I feel so awful about it as it is, and I really don't want to have lost her such a sentimental gift. It was so stupid.

That brought me down, it made the rest of the day difficult. I did manage to laugh at some photos that Koji had taken over the previous few months, and it was good just to talk to people, but I still felt bad all day.

Ooops

Well, I spent all night revising for nothing.

As it turns out, this exam that was meant to be at 9AM today... isn't happening until later. So I disturbed Dan and Julia for nothing, and I revised for nothing. And I still slept until late. Oh well, I now know more about Telecommunications and Data Networks. Apparently, I can pass on the exam alone if I get 80% or more, so I actually want to do well on this one. Since my last two exams were 83% and 82% respectively, I will probably be ok. But still, 79% and I have to resit.

Anyway, one of the least geeky parts of me is being destroyed. The only thing that could possibly alienate me from other geeks is the fact that I'd only seen Episodes I, IV and V of Star Wars. Well, last night I saw Episode II, and tonight it's III, and so pretty soon I will have eliminated 2/3rds of my non geekiness.

On a plus not, Qian is now very happy that she is no longer required to pass some of her modules as they are only Required. Which means that she is far more likely to pass. She will probably change to a combined degree from here so she doesn't have to do as much business. I suggested English as a Foreign Language. Maybe that'll happen. I don't know. She also borrowed Hello Nasty and Black Cherry by the Beastie Boys and Goldfrapp respectively. Hope she enjoys.

I almost have my photo album ready to upload as well, which is great, because I can share photos online and all that stuff, but it means I can wipe my phone memory card and take pictures again. So essentially, aside from Qian being happy happy, making me happy, and watching Star Wars with friends... and forgetting an exam time, it's been a chilled couple of days.

Sunday Lunch

Before I forget it, it was something along the lines of:

Emma: I didn't think there were bears in Japan.
Koji: There are.
Emma: It just didn't seem it.
Koji: Japan is thirty percent...
Emma: Bears?
Mizuki: Haha, yes.
Koji: Thirty percent mountains. But yes, I am half bear. My mother is a bear.
Emma: That must make dating awkward.
Koji: Yes. My parents want me to settle down with a nice female bear, as they are better cookers than humans.

Anyway, it carried on like that for a while. Mizuki turned out to be a quarter bear. Kaori was part bear. Emma seemed to be the only human, and I think I kept out of species assignment. Either way, we all ended up hitting Emma with pillows and had some species hatred going on. I questioned what it was like to have his mother sleep through winter. It went on like that too. Haha, I love late night discussions.

Well, the previous post I made, just below this one logically, was posted just a second ago because blogger.com decided to stop working yesterday around four-ish. Yesterday, deciding at Krispy Kreme that for Kaori's birthday, a Krispy Kreme themed party would be best, we took Krispy Kreme balloons, hats, straws, napkins and a box of six original, two maple, one chocolate, and three chocolate with sprinkles. It was sufficiently surprising, and half way through Qian calls and says she's bringing pizza to me. Kaori lends me her keys so I can get back into Froebel, and I pick it up and give her a lift home, while wearing the Krispy Kreme hat. The point being, with Kaori's keys shown to security and a tiny lie about where I lived, I could get into the Summer Ball area. Which meant we could all walk straight into Razorlight from Emma's place. So I saw them for free, and I went around looking like I was selling Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

"DOUGHNUTS! I DON'T HAVE ANY DOUGHNUTS!"

And that, with a really awesome birthday party for Kaori, who is now 21, made a fantastic night. I saw Weiwei, and Natasha, and Kelly and Chiara, all of whom were friendly and happy.

Emma wouldn't let some weird girls in her hall, but they came in anyway. Anyway, they claimed they were bullied out by Emma, which I don't see happening. But we're going to claim they were racist and evil, with "yellow monkey" comments and stuff. It made for humourous banter.

Anyway, that was the night. Today, Sunday, meant Sunday Lunch, to while Emma, Kaori and Mizuki were invited, and at which Taigh was there offering me a present of The House of Flying Daggers DVD birthday present, and a lunch was being served. That went smoothly, and despite no Krispy Kremes at the end, a really enjoyable evening followed when we met with Koji and Yoko. And we talked about bears. But you know that.

Now it's only one week until the Derren Brown special, and the excitement is painful.

I'm playing Amnesiac by Radiohead as I type. Good album.

Friday I'm in Love

I don't know how many of you know that song by the Cure, but it's a great song, especially if you're in a good mood. It is, so far, the only song that I have obtained digitally and paid for. iTunes had a use, because I wanted to hear that song immediately, and it was useful in that respect. Other than that I use iTunes for the free songs every Tuesday. They're usually pretty good. Not Hombre by MIA, that's awful. Anyway, I digress.

Yesterday was Friday, and the Cure song was my anthem for it. It turned out to be just a day where things went right.

The girl I like, you know her by now... I just spent a short amount of the day with her, but she made me smile and made me laugh, and for the rest of the day I sang that song. After that, I watched the entire Disc 1 of Season 2 of 24 with my sister, and I forgot how great that season was. I was almost tempted not to watch it but man, it was worth it. I paused it briefly to watch some Derren Brown, which was awesome. He is talented, and it's only one week until he's on TV with me. God I hope they don't show bad footage of me.

And so far today has been pretty cool. One of my Skype friends had a sing along with me, and I really enjoyed that. And while I can't say that I am Avril Lavigne's biggest fan, it was cool to have someone singing along with me over the internet. Bah, as soon as Emma and I are on good time again, we will have guitar practices, I'm sure.

Anyway, it's Kaori's birthday today, so in the unlikely event that you are reading, Happy Birthday Kaori! I will see you later today, and we have a surprise planned for you.

Anyway, I need to have cereal and do a brief shop, so I'll leave it there. I'll let you know how observing the Summer Ball went.

Ultimate Evening

While perhaps not the best night of my life, it was a crown upon my first year here at University, and certainly an evening I will not forget readily. You know how much I've been going on about Derren Brown, well, ultimately, Julia did decide not to go, leaving Dan with no choice but to take me. We left with plenty of time to spare, and stopped off to pick up the ticket from Julia's place, who didn't seem happy to see me, and grabbed a quick meal. We then arrived at Park Lane, the pick up point for the secret location. And they wanted it to be a secret. The coaches that picked us up were blacked out, no light coming in or going out, and the driver's section was especially blanketed. They didn't want us to know where we were. It turned out to be an abandoned cinema, and it was extremely creepy.

We were led to the foyer, offered free drink, but I just took water, and given sandwiches while we were allowed to mingle in this secret location. Dan was saying how there were specific groups selected for this, and we were the student group, and there were also cabbies, psychologists, teachers, lawyers, accountants and celebrities. After a little looking we saw the presenters of Channel 5's Monkey Magic. Well, they were pointed out to us and we weren't really interested. Suddenly people started entering with sunglasses on, and I realised they must have thought they were celebrities (I didn't recognise them) or were with celebrities. While Dan ran off to the toilet, I figured he'd probably meet someone cool in there, so I followed shortly, and as I walked in, I recognised Al Murray, "The Pub Landlord", not that I'm a fan of his work or have found him humourous really, but I was momentarily starstruck.

When I had been to the toilets previously, Dan had pointed out that you could see out of a tiny hole in the cubicle over rooftops in London. Other than we were in London, I had no idea where we were.

Anyway, I walked into the toilets, past an exiting Al Murray, and thought I recognised someone. None other than Simon Pegg. He asked me where we were, and I told him about the peep hole, but Dan came and saw him and shook his hand. His sidekick was there too Peter Serafinowicz, and I suddenly realised I was surrounded by famous people. I also saw Jonathan Ross in the flesh, which was cool, and saw someone from the League of Gentlemen and a Channel 4 news reader, who was later featured in the show. Anyway, one of the big highlights of the evening...



In order from left to right, in case you hadn't guessed, is me, then Dan, then Simon Pegg, then a Roehampton Student who I have forgotten the name of. But that... is so cool.

Well, the show wasn't what I was expecting, which was a dark and eerie show, similar to The Séance. It was more akin to a relaxed stage show with hypnosis. It was funny and clever, and will be broadcast Sunday 29th of May Channel 4 either 10:00PM or 10:30PM depending on the slot. Anyway, everyone must tune in bar none, because I suspect I will be quite visible. Despite a couple of errors, which made him seem more human and friendly than incapable, and a premature explosion that will probably be edited out, it went very smoothly, and I think I was hypnotised, slightly.

Anyway, you have to watch it, it will be brilliant, and will translate to TV very well. I will talk about it more after the show is on, and hopefully everyone reading will have seen it. I feel bad for Julia, because it was her place I was sitting in, but I am so grateful to her and Dan. Well, I shook Mr Pegg's hand and got a photo with him, so I am satisfied. Derren brown is a god.

But speaking honestly, when he came here on the 9th, the show was so much more personal and touched upon me deeper than tonight's show, which was more of an entertainment. He's an incredible man, who really is very talented.

My First Blog Test

Haha, I saw this on Carlos's blog and just had to. For some reason it gave me Sakaki, which weirded me out until I found the rogue question. This seems closer.



What Azumanga Daioh Character Are You?

Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Anyway, I had a good day.

It involved another exam, which I didn't pwn quite as much as the last one, but it still went well. And after that, immediately after that, I spent a wonderful seven hours working with the person I thought I didn't like anymore, and you know, ever feeling I thought was gone hit back with a vengeance. I had forgotten how wonderful it felt just to sit next to her, just to laugh with her. No wonder it took seven hours to do the work, we kept talking all the time. And she said I'd lost weight. You know, aaah, it just feels great. After I dropped her home, she texted me thanking me wishing me a good night. She never used to do that, and it felt so good, I've been on a natural high for ages.

That said, I still don't know what'll happen. That whole paradigm stuff, scrap that. Yeah, I still like this other girl, but man, I forgot how happy this one made me.

Template Change

So, I've just been updating the template, and I realise it looks pretty cheesy, but it fits with my green mushroom theme. There's some Mario visual code in that image if you look hard enough. You can just about see the "1UP" in the bottom right hand corner, but I made it pretty subtle. It replaces the premade template, which, while looking good, wasn't original, and I wanted something a little more green. After I take some Photoshop classes I will probably be better.

Anyway, and addition to the last blog: After seeing Nightmare on Elm Street, we all went to my kitchen to eat doughnuts, and while there, my ex-girlfriend returned from the bar and slammed up against the window from the outside, seemingly trying to scare everyone. After she left, Koji made the rather astute comparison to Freddy Krueger.

Anyway, I'm a little worried about not handing in that Telecommunications and Data Networks essay. I did the essay. Well, two thirds of it, but the course is so uninspiringly easy that I never considered it a real essay and it never went in. Well he can see that it was done, I can show him and I can hopefully resit the coursework to get an actual mark for it. Hopefully the resit won't interrupt my trip.

Anyway, I'm going in to Uni now to study for this exam. I had an exam yesterday as well, but it was really easy. I came top in the written part and the practical part went really well also, so I think I came top of that module, beating Dan by half a percent, but still, it's top.

Too Busy To Love

The past couple of days have been a bit of a nonstop rush. Friday: Koji's birthday. Writing his name in Kanji, I managed to impress him, but due to Kaori's presence, the evening proceeded as usual with doughnuts. Though this time, we have a variety box as well as the standard one. Nightmare on Elm Street didn't really phase anyone, though that upside down blood bed was a piece of horror artistry, which I'd like to see again. Also, I watched the end of 24 Season One again, and that's a beautiful piece of television right there. But since then, I have been pretty much setting up this extremely expensive A3 scanner to work. Until 6:00AM Sunday morning I was working on that thing. And then from 4:00PM Sunday until 2:00AM Monday morning, I was scanning on it. This should seriously make me about £100, and that will be very useful, especially for my trip coming up.

That sums up my few days. And while it is seeming less likely I will see Derren Brown, Julia suddenly deciding she wants to see him, I think I can manage to persuade her to not go and persuade Dan not to take her. Consider it a two pronged attack being fought on one front. Yes, complicated, but think of it like this. What action would make her kinder to me and make Dan angrier at her? Two advantages towards the ticket with only one action: a massage. And I think it worked. Here's hoping.

Anyhow, I really need to get my hours normal. I think a sleeping pill is in order at some point. And to think not long ago I managed to fall asleep at midnight. I hope I can make this 10AM start tomorrow. I will try. Goodnight.

Program Rush

Haha, these days have been amusing, to say the least.

I don't think I mentioned it before, but the student partitions of the server computers in the network went down for a few days recently, leading to Suzy Jagger telling us all that out Computing coursework deadlines had been extended by a week.

Finding out yesterday that Jim, our Programming Fundamentals lecturer had decided against this, we found out one day prior that it was not the case for out Programming Assignment 2, and resultantly, while we were relaxing, it was due in in about 24 hours, rather than the eight days we thought. So needless to say, a bustle and rustle of speed was ushered in for all the unlucky people who had left it until the last minute. Which included me, and most of my friends. One of whom actually started roughly 12 hours before the deadline, the deadline being 2PM earlier today.

Essentially, I wrote the whole program from 1PM yesterday to 3:30AM today, with a brief 4PM to 9PM break for a meet with friends, Pirates of the Caribbean and free pizza. In that time I also watched Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers, which seriously took me back, but enough on that.

So that's quite a few hours programming. I also wrote up test data and annotated it, and even a scrambled structure chart. It was all going swimmingly until not only did I fall short on printer credit by one penny, but the Microsoft Visio chart object completely failed to use correct fonts and gave me rubbish. This meant I had to get two prints with only about 10 minutes to go before the deadline. That gave me no time to run to the LRC to top up my printer credit, which allowed 5 of my 6 pages printing. Luckily, Dan had some credit, and went to print off my last page, returning with not the last page but page 3, meaning he'd wasted a credit on nothing. Printing my last page, we saw he only had enough for one more print, meaning my Visio chart had to be corrected by hand. The only real victims of this day were the shocked Taiwanese guy who was in the small room while I screamed obscenities, and the recycling bin that now has a new hole at foot level.

Luckily, a handwritten (scrawled) flow diagram and a beautiful program made their way into the letterbox roughly eight seconds before the deadline. The bewildered people, who saw a black blur flying up two flights of stairs towards the assignment letterboxes probably knew what was going on, which is more than I can say for my Business Skills lecturer, who saw my lying in the floor in a heap near the letterboxes at 2:01PM.

But I handed it in on time. That's a real high marker there, I can feel it. Which is better than I expect most people got, considering I needed to write most of their work before it was even near completion. And Snowman Helgi was late. My eightysomething percent for the last assignment handed it in late. Woo!

Well, I have one more episode of 24 left to watch with my sister before it's time for Season 2, and she's loving it. I can't wait to watch the end again.

And you remember Derren Brown? Of course. Dan was invited to go and be on his show, and while he wants to take his girlfriend, she doesn't want to go, and he'll probably take me, so things are working out.

And I'm getting the template for this website is about to get an overhaul. Should be good. Should be.

Trick of the Mind

Now I know a few of you will probably of heard of this Derren Brown. He's a guy who uses psychology and mind games akin to the Jedi to do things with hypnosis and stuff. Anyway, he's just had a big TV show here and he does loads of stuff which is cool.

Anyway, he comes to my University about once a year, and does a free performance, and selects a few people from it to take on to his TV special later.

I just saw him perform, and the bastard...

I was really skeptical before, but after seeing him tonight...

We go in, sign a form, and then he sits us all down, and asks us to put out hands together and imagine them stuck together. He uses his voice and calms us and convinces us, and when we were asked to take them apart, some people couldn't. I could, so I wasn't affected, but my friend Dan, he couldn't and it wasn't until Derren clapped that all the hands came apart.

Those people who had had their hands mentally stuck together, he put them off to one side of the room and continued hypnotising them.

After this, which was weird, he made all those who had stuck together fall asleep by clicking his fingers, and then basically messed with their heads. While they were "asleep" he erased the number 7 from their heads. When they woke, they call counted 11 fingers, and all said there were either 6 or 8 dwarfs with Snow White. None of them could explain where they got an extra finger from. He made one guy think his name was Susan, and then at the end of it all, he erased their memories of it, so while it had taken 2 hours for us, they all though it had been five minutes and it had been cancelled. They would think this until they left the building.

I went up to Dan and asked him to count to 10, and he just went 1 2 3 4 5 6 8 9 10. I asked him to do it a couple more times, and then as soon as we'd left the building, I asked him again and he included 7. I was so amazed. I thought it was rubbish until tonight. I am so overstimulated, but still, this is the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life, or one of. I just wish it had happened to me. There was much more, but that's all the main stuff. So, so weird.

Anyway, that was today. Aside from mind tricks, I performed a rather enthralling speech about the Data Protection Act, and spent the rest of the day trying to wake up. I have to so something about these hours.

It was Emma's birthday yesterday, and with repeated forcing, I managed to make her celebrate eventually. We went out to that Vietnamese restaurant Dong Phuong, which I did again today, and then Krispy Kreme, which was less amusing than on Friday but just as tasty.

Bearing in mind that this is the second time I am writing this blog as Firefox crashed making me write it up again (apart from the Derren stuff which I pasted from my site), I think I'm doing well. I'm almost at the end of 24 Series 1 now, and it is the third time I'm seeing it, and it's just as good as the first two times, except maybe a little better. I want to see the second series again, because that was good too.

You'll have to forgive this blog, I'm still trying to get my head around seeing Dan hypnotised like that. So, so strange. Anyway, I best be off, I have to figure out how to hand in work that has been deleted from my N: drive at University, and yet still have it in before the deadline of 9 tomorrow. Oh well. Goodnight.

Resistance is Useless

It's been a few days since the update, I admit. But you know, it's not all that bad.

While I'm still in purgatory about my feelings about who I like and how much, as now it is changing back but I'm not sure for how long, all feelings have returned to normal concerning my family. As long as my aunt is ok, then all is well as far as I'm concerned.

Pretty much every day, I have met up with Emma and the gang. Today though, for the first time in absolutely ages, it was just Emma and me all day. And it was refreshing to be able to speak completely honestly to someone who accepts things at face value and responds as such. It's so good to have that kind of person to talk to; and she is also on a similar wavelength of thought, so the same things cross our minds. Speaking of which, it's her birthday today, and I still haven't thought of anything to get for her. She doesn't seem keen on celebrating, but I think we'll force some celebration out of her.

Well, I managed to get to sleep at midnight tonight, but I felt the need to come online and a post seemed necessary, so I apologise to my sleeping patterns, but you come second. I'm off again to sleep, but to the zero people reading this... yeah.

Finally... I can't decide who I like. I know I covered this at the beginning. There's either the girl I have liked for a long time and been good friends with for a long time who might like me a little but won't go out with me, or the girl I haven't known that long but I'm still friends with and probably doesn't like me at all but is more open to me.

Clearly a no brainer.

General Consideration

Today has been a day of very mixed feelings. Mostly bad. Some good.

I watched Total Recall last night, and it's a great film, but somehow it made me think about what I wanted for the future. Most surprising of all though, on seeing my parents today, the death of my uncle hardly came up, and when it did it was greeted cheerily. Apparently my aunt is taking it stoically, and that comforts me. I think my family is partially glad to be rid of him as well.

I'm also still plagued by this dream from several nights ago, concerning post Saddam Iraq and the Vietnamese girl in my class. Without going into it deeply, it played out slightly like a scene from Three Kings, but it didn't have the same vibe. Needless to say it terrified me, and made me fearful for what I value.

As well as this, a rather repulsive snuff video was played to me today. I will probably have nightmares about that as well.

Ultimately, I feel a paradigm shift in my emotions. Whether I class this as a passing fancy or a total change in my short/mid term goals, I'm not sure. As I am being unusually vague about this, I'll sum it up in a phrase. I think I'm beginning to like a different girl to the one I have been liking. While this doesn't mean much right now, it has the potential to ruin some good friendships and mess up some chances. So I'll have to consider it for a while.

Sudden

Sometime while or before I was writing that last post, my uncle suffered a heart attack and passed away.

I never knew one of my grandfathers, he died before I was born, and my great uncle died in the war. Aside from these two, there hasn't been a death in my family. This is the closest I have come to death. My uncle was a priest. He left no children. He was not a blood relation. I don't know how I feel about it yet. I don't know if I feel bad, or if I feel just sympathy for my aunt.

I can't feel bad for him, he is not suffering. I can only feel bad for my aunt, so if I'm grieving, I'm grieving for her loss. But it made me think about death and how we deal with it as a society. When someone dies, people grieve for them, but they are mourning the loss of the person, not the person who is gone. In this way, grief is selfish, as in it doesn't affect anyone but those who are deprived of the other's company. So am I feeling grief or sympathy? I think it has to be sympathy.

I feel awful saying this, but my uncle wasn't a man that buzzed happiness. I remember him as someone who made me cry when I was young by humiliating me at dinner because he had an etiquette niggle. That's how I'll remember him.

Aside from that, today has been very good. I am realising that I have some brilliant friends, and that makes me so happy. Today we had a semi-impromptu picnic on the Froebel lawn outside Emma's window, which had chocolate milk and ham sandwiches and pineapple galore. I saw Megumi again, which hadn't happened for ages. I think not since the New Year party. But that was good. And then we all watched Gokusen series 2 and went for a meal. It was a worthwhile Bank Holiday.

I'm going to go home for a while tomorrow. I need to see my parents and call my aunt.

Must Not Give Up

I must not give up on this blog. Never.

This is one of those things I will do and see through. Not like my last blog, no sir.

Anyway, it's been a few days since my last entry. It's been my birthday week, and it's gone fantastically. Tuesday, dinner. I'm sure I told you that. Wednesday, dinner. I told you that too. Friday, party. Now, when I say party, I'm sure it conjures up these images in your mind of loud music, dancing drunkenly and throwing up everywhere. Well, I don't think any of that went on. It was more akin to a childrens' party than any one a normal student goes to. We had Rice Crispy cakes, Coke, Lemonade, Doritos and dip, Twiglets and all sorts of fun snacks, and no alcohol (unless you went to the bar), and had a party based around conversation and laughter.

I hadn't been to a party as fun as that since New Year's Eve. Apart from maybe Carlos's Birthday, but I missed most of it due to a lecture. Anyway, I spoke to Weiwei and Lin again, which I'd wanted to do for ages, and I also had a nice long chat with Kiwako, which I also enjoy. Oh! My living arrangements for Japan should be sorted as well.

Essentially, I had planned to live with my good friend Shun, but he isn't actually going back at the same time as me, which is July/August, so I either had to find someone else to live with or pay for a hotel. I could have gone with his suggestion of "having a different girl each night" and live like that, but for one, I'm not really like that, and two, suitcases aren't extremely romantic for one night stands. Anyway, Kiwako and Yoko and Mizuki and Emma have offered me stay places, so I should be ok.

Off on a tangent once more it seems. Anyway, that was the party: a success. People brought a wonderful variety of presents, and I have a whole shelf of cards, and best of all, I spent a nice evening surrounded by pretty girls and talking to friends. I also met this guy called Henry, with bleach blonde hair, that invited me into either his or his friend's room, I forget exactly. But, going in there, I see pretty much what I would have decorated my room to be had I moved to Southlands. Computer, guitars all over the room, Radiohead stuff everywhere, Bill Hicks stuff littering the place, and it freaked me out. It was all the things I liked and them all funneled into someone else's room. But he was cool, so I didn't slaughter him for it.

God, I'm not missing an update ever again.

I saw 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' last night. I have seen some of the series and read some of the book, and I thought it was faithful to what I knew. I also thought it was an amazing film, and worthy of a few awards. I saw it with Emma and Theo, and despite being late and not getting to sit with them, I still enjoyed it.

And today, 'Being Victor Borge' was a stand up/tribute show taking work from victor Borge and using it to remember him. It was very funny. The audience didn't warm to him as I thought they should have, but he was very good. And I watched the dynamics of a double act. I think my act with Dan has to get more physical. But I got some good ideas. As it turns out, my grandfather was a stand up comedian during the war. So I can now steal routines and say it's in my blood.

Well, for tomorrow, I plan a picnic with Emma and Kaori, and maybe Mizuki, but it depends on the weather. Should be good. Damnit, I'm not missing out on any more entries. Despite distractions, I managed to complete this entry in about 2 hours. Damn. Anything I miss?

Oh, my girlfriend saw my room with all the pictures of Qian around, so she wasn't happy. I think that's our relationship over for a while again. But seriously, I don't mind. Things are going to well and I'm too happy to really care about her anymore. My party was a blast, my weekend is full of fun things with my friends and family, and everything's getting better for me. Now i just need to sleep. Goodnight.